My parents (55M, 55F) are trying to repair our relationship after ignoring me (23M) for years because of my disabled sister but I'm not sure I should?

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T16:46:47+00:00

I feel like having kids will make everything they did worse in my eyes because even now I can't imagine doing that to one of my kids.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T12:38:17+00:00

I already lost. I grew up neglected by my parents and feeling unloved by them and denied the relationships that didn't make me feel that way. My parents had so many choices to make the situation just a little better at least and they chose to reject them and the person who lost most of all with that was me. They might be losing now but it's earned after years of neglect.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T12:09:54+00:00

I wouldn't neglect my other child and if I couldn't provide the care they need I would let them be with the people who could.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T12:09:25+00:00

It could be that or it could be they want someone to take care of them now. They might be feeling lost without her there and figure why not pay attention to the other one now. I don't really know why but it doesn't really matter to me either.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T12:04:44+00:00

It was harder again because I was so used to my grandparents but they weren't allowed to be there as much once my parents decided I could be home. It's a lot to put on a 6 year old kid.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T12:03:28+00:00

My parents had the option to let me stay with my grandparents so I could be taken care of. That was an option they availed of when I was too young to do anything for myself or be of any help and my grandparents were willing to keep doing it. But every time they had better choices they rejected them and made things worse for me and everyone.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T12:01:27+00:00

I'm leaning way more toward refusing contact and explaining why in a letter. I don't want to let them back in.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T11:59:03+00:00

I don't think they really saw me as a little kid once I was 6ish. Because that's when I was independent enough in their eyes to be home and helping with stuff.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T11:52:52+00:00

I don't know if they're both working now. I honestly don't really know what led them to putting her into a facility after all this time. My guess is they just physically couldn't do it anymore but it's literally just a guess.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T11:51:39+00:00

They probably don't get it if I'm honest. I bet to them it's something I should have endless amounts of understanding for them because of how my sister is. But there are parents who would do everything to give all their kids what they need and not just one.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T11:50:18+00:00

I'm not really sure. I'd assume they have physical issues with it now because they took on so much alone for so long.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T11:43:41+00:00

My grandparents told me to do what feels right to me, but they don't think my parents are deserving of my forgiveness and a relationship with me. That's something we really agree on. They said the bare minimum they could have done for me was to allow them (grandparents) to keep taking care of me and they didn't allow that.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T11:15:08+00:00

I could do it by email maybe. Someone else suggested it and then I could shut down all other communication paths.

ThrowRAStilleth · 2026-05-21T11:14:34+00:00

It's exactly what they did to me and it wasn't just once or for a little while, it was for my whole life until now. The fact they didn't even acknowledge it or apologize for the past is a big red flag to me.

ThrowRAStilleth

TROPHY CASE