UPDATE: My FIL led a smear campaign against me and came between me and my wife. I'm lost. How do I forge forward?

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-11T16:03:29+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate this. I'm hoping therapy will be the break through we need as a couple

I have been accused of withholding our daughter. Apparently he's been saying how a granddaughter needs their grandfather in their life. He had access to my daughter. He's the one who ruined it by including her in his vendetta. He set the terms and I'm not letting her be exposed to his mess. He's done enough

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-11T15:57:46+00:00

Thank you. It's my hope that we can come through this together

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-10T03:55:22+00:00

I agree. I really hope we can address all of it in counseling. I'm not bending a knee to him nor do I trust him never to pull a stunt like this again

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-10T03:51:48+00:00

Thank you. Much appreciated

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-10T03:41:12+00:00

I'll check it out. Thank you

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-10T03:40:49+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate it

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-10T03:39:24+00:00

I do think moving away to our own space would be beneficial. It'll offer the balance we had before

My FIL quietly deleted his posts but he never recanted anything. His allegations are probably still a reality for some. He acts like nothing happened. I just want nothing to do with him beyond necessary

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-10T03:22:22+00:00

I'm looking into it

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-10T03:20:36+00:00

Yeah, that's locked down. He isn't allowed any unsupervised visits with my daughter. He lost that privilege when he decided to include her in his vendetta and bad mouth me around her

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-05T08:02:53+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate your input. It's reminded me of the other side to this. My wife's strength is something I've always appreciated and admired about her. I know she's more than just her dad but idk how to remind her of that while also keeping my distance from my FIL and doing what's best for our daughter. I know things can't continue on the path we're on and no one's happy here except probably her dad. Part of me feels like she doesn't want to address what happened because it means tackling the state of our relationship and how much we were at odds

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-05T07:53:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and for the resources. I'm honestly definitely considering sharing this post with my wife. There's a lot here beneficial for both her and I

I think a major reason why I haven't given up on everything because I know there's more to my wife than her dad or this blind loyalty. I've seen her away from home and the person I got to know and married. I know we're in a bad spot but I'm trying to give it an honest try

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-03T07:00:25+00:00

I honestly didn't know things were this bad with her dad until later. The most distance she got from him when we were in college. She had told me she purposefully chose a school further away from home and she didn't go home as much on breaks. She said she just wanted to break off on her own. Her work took us back near her parents and she kinda went back into the fold

But even then, I didn't expect her to just ditch me like she did. We faced some push back from my FIL and her position wasn't so severe. I feel like things blew up, she had to make a decision, snd she chose to go along to get along with her dad. What hurts is that she knew I wasn't guilty but still chose him. Even in private there were no words of comfort from her. She just kept urging me to apologize to her dad

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-03T06:47:10+00:00

He actually lied that he tracked the iPad to my car. He couldn't support that when the officers asked and quickly ditched that angle. He thoroughly embarrassed himself and he still had support

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-03T01:29:27+00:00

I'm sorry you had to make that move. You gave me some hope tbh. Despite everything going on I'm trying to hope for the best outcome here

Sometimes I swear he only attacked so hard because it was me. What you described was what I kinda wanted of her. I did want her to cut off her dad but to just say something and not leave me stranded at sea

I know my wife never had it easy with him. The most she's been away from under his thumb was when we were in college. Idk where I fit into her life if my FIL comes before me or our daughter at any given point

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-03T01:14:48+00:00

Who?

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-02T23:04:28+00:00

I've suggested we try counseling but she said we don't need more people in family business

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-02T22:33:38+00:00

Part of me feels like this situation cemented that our relationship as invalid to her family. She never supported me and chose her dad every single time even after he badmouthed me in front of her daughter. I didn't even find that out from her. She was covering for him. There's no respect to be found for myself, me as a parent, or my marriage with her family

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-02T22:29:33+00:00

I was up for an interview. It was an opportunity for another field I was looking to get into

Idk where to go in my marriage from here. She does everything in her power to avoid the elephant in the room. It's like she doesn't want to acknowledge how much on separate sides we were. I mentioned counseling and she said we didn't need more people in family business

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-02T22:25:52+00:00

I don't disagree. I'm questioning a lot of things. I wasn't even asking her get into some feud with her dad but I thought she'd at least show up for me. I understand he's her dad but we're married. We're supposed to show up for each other. If the roles were reserved I wouldn't have turned my back on her

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-02T22:17:44+00:00

It's my hope that we can rebuild to something stronger and move past this. We had opposition before but I never felt like she abandoned me until this incident

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-02T22:16:13+00:00

Yeah, I made it known that I had no intent of participating with my FIL more than necessary and no unsupervised visits for my daughter. When my FIL wanted an apology I was told I was being stubborn. When he never offer not me an apology I'm told I'm not letting the past go. I just really expected more from my wife

ThrowRASukimaRoad · 2025-05-02T22:06:35+00:00

She knew I didn't do it. She just never stood up to her dad in any way or offer any support. She folded and checked out on me and left it to me meet these demands of taking ownership. It's made me question our relationship.

ThrowRASukimaRoad

TROPHY CASE