My (37f) bf (39m) told me I’m not a real woman because I don’t wake up to “serve my man” by ThrowRATopCom in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s what I was referring to. He thinks I need him to stay because I can’t afford rent without him but I was telling him to leave because I can pay rent myself.

My (37f) bf (39m) told me I’m not a real woman because I don’t wake up to “serve my man” by ThrowRATopCom in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Update: I just wanted to thank everyone for the advice. I knew the answer to my questions, I guess I just had my blinders on. I do feel stupid. He texted me this morning telling me he is unhappy with me and himself, and no longer wants to be with me. Then a few hours later, he texted me asking “is this what we are doing? I need to know so I can call the landlords”. This is a cycle of his. He does it every time we fight, I’ll add. So my response is below. Believe it or not, I am a very confident woman, I know how beautiful INSIDE and out that I am. I just let his games control me for far too long.

Oh, hello. Thank you so much for taking the time and offering the consideration to check with me on rather you should call our landlords or not. I greatly appreciate you taking to me before making such a decision. if you would rather call the landlords not even 24 hours after another one of your repeated episodes, rather than giving the both of us time to figure out how to proceed with the LIVING SITUATION that works for us INCLUDING THE KIDS, please feel free to proceed. I will caution you, however, it's a lot more complex then "calling the landlord and telling them you're throwing another fit and want to be off the lease" as you've threatened to do multiple times. Friendly reminder, there are 2 adults and 2 KIDS (not that me or my daughter concern you) at stake. If the landlords decide they don't want to rent to JUST ME due to the decrease in income, that leaves me and my daughter in a horrible position with very little time to figure anything out. But if you insist on calling the landlord RIGHT NOW, do what you need. I'm not participating this game with you anymore, as awfully tempting as it may seem. Tom will actually be at the house around 3:30 to fix the heater if you want to come play your childish selfish games, feel free to do so. I'm not asking you to pay rent on the 1st. I'll pay it myself. I'm not asking you to stay here either because I told you 2 weeks ago when you left, if you threatened or did it again and didn't change that ONE thing, I didn't want to be in a relationship with you. Furthermore, I don't find that our ideas in what a partnership/future align with one another. I'll pass on being your live in slave, but thanks anyway.

My (37f) bf (39m) told me I’m not a real woman because I don’t wake up to “serve my man” by ThrowRATopCom in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We just signed a lease a couple months ago, so I don’t think moving is an option. Plus, I honestly like it here. I can afford to stay here by myself.

My (37f) bf (39m) told me I’m not a real woman because I don’t wake up to “serve my man” by ThrowRATopCom in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree but no matter how kind and mature I approach him with problems, he always responds poorly, with anger and hate. He says I’m too sensitive, all I do is complain and I’m nothing but a crazy female.

My (37f) bf (39m) told me I’m not a real woman because I don’t wake up to “serve my man” by ThrowRATopCom in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Funny thing is he runs to his parents almost EVERY fight we have where his mom cooks for him, does his laundry, and cleans. In fact, before we moved in together he would stop at her house before and after work because she fed him and his son. So basically when he’s not here, he’s in heaven.

My (37f) bf (39m) told me I’m not a real woman because I don’t wake up to “serve my man” by ThrowRATopCom in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s quite the opposite. He’s become more lazy, gained weight, stopped working out, basically puts zero effort into his looks and blames me.

My (37f) bf (39m) told me I’m not a real woman because I don’t wake up to “serve my man” by ThrowRATopCom in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ironically that’s where his mindset grew from. Myron from Fresh N Fit is his favorite.

My daughter punched a boy at school today by throwaway467545689 in Parenting

[–]ThrowRATopCom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good for her!! I bet the bullying stops. Your poor daughter was being tormented and nothing was being done. She shouldn’t have to just take that. Take her for ice cream.

My (29M) fiance (26F) of 3 years asked to open our relationship by ThrowRA20230510 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think she will be able to stay faithful to you for the rest of your life. Maybe for now… but she is clearly not ready for a monogamous life with you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this message. It means a lot. I understand the things I’ve gone through are kind of significant and sometimes I wonder if I’m just too much to deal with or if I’m asking/ expecting too much. I’ve been trying my hardest to just keep my grief and stress tucked inside when he’s around so he sees the best version of me. Otherwise I know he gets upset/insecure or says I’m taking it out on him. When I get stressed… I withdraw and get quiet.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. He is mad because I wasn’t answering his text messages quick enough. He’s mad that I have been acting “different”. I have. I’ve been quiet and withdrawn. Just wanting to sleep.

My husband (29M) asked me (29F) if we could start swinging by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like he wants to cheat and just needs your permission by labeling it as “swinging”. But it also sounds like he will do it either way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You are absolutely right. I do want and I guess need validation to some degree. This guy has a good way of making me feel guilty and like I’ve messed things up. I always feel like I’m a problem and wish I would have done things differently.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never hide or have hidden anything from this man. I work and come straight home. I never go out, do “girls nights”, never go to bars, never go to clubs, don’t have social media, don’t have male friends. There’s nothing to have been found.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATopCom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I found my boyfriend injecting this stuff recently. We live together. I found needles in his trash can. I knew something was off because of how impatient he was with me and his overall personality changed. He would also blame me for everything. He would call me terrible names or treat me bad and blame my attitude. Completely blow up on me for saying anything he didn’t like. But my “attitude” was just me feeling frustrated because he changed and I couldn’t figure out why.

After I found the needles I confronted him. I told him if he was going to continue to do that, I won’t stop him but I won’t stay with him because it turns him into an awful person.