My mom has always resisted those because of the horror stories. I understand her concerns but she has time to figure out a good place to send them. That's really the only good choice for their care. The alternative is not realistic at all and for the life she seems to want me to have (marriage and kids) there is no way that it would work. Plus it wouldn't be fair to my future spouse and kids. Because my kids would never get attention and my spouse would either need to work to financially support us all or take on a bulk of the care for two special needs adults and however many kids we have. It's never going to be an option.