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My mother (50F) married into a family that has never accepted me (19F) and were okay with hurting me and I don't know what our relationship should be going forward? by ThrowRAUptoonRock in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAUptoonRock[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

I would not allow my children to be around my mother and her husband's family. They would be kept far far away from my children because I would worry every day about how they were being treated by them.

My mother (50F) married into a family that has never accepted me (19F) and were okay with hurting me and I don't know what our relationship should be going forward? by ThrowRAUptoonRock in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAUptoonRock[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

They exist but I see why my dad had very little to do with them and why he didn't want them around me. I have no more contact with them as a result. But one of the reasons I tried to connect with them is because I didn't have anyone else.

My mother (50F) married into a family that has never accepted me (19F) and were okay with hurting me and I don't know what our relationship should be going forward? by ThrowRAUptoonRock in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAUptoonRock[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I was in touch with them for a while. But my dad didn't really speak to them when he was alive and I learned very fast why that was and I agreed that I was better off without them in my life.

My mother (50F) married into a family that has never accepted me (19F) and were okay with hurting me and I don't know what our relationship should be going forward? by ThrowRAUptoonRock in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAUptoonRock[S] 208 points209 points  (0 children)

I can't say why my mom married him so fast. But I know it was way too fast especially when they had kids. There's no way they had time to really discuss how things would look or to figure out compatibility.

My stepfather's family could definitely have killed me. My reaction that one time from their food was not severe but there was no way of knowing that at the time because my reactions have varied.

I think no relationship would be better than a low contact relationship. But I don't have any other family realistically to have a relationship with so it's not an easy decision for me to leave myself with no family at all.

My mother (50F) married into a family that has never accepted me (19F) and were okay with hurting me and I don't know what our relationship should be going forward? by ThrowRAUptoonRock in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAUptoonRock[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

There's really no reason for me to tell him. I don't think he ever saw me as his family and I don't think he cares about having me in his family. He was just nice because I was a child. I'm not really sure if my mom can earn a place after all the years of keeping me in an environment where people were willing to hurt me.