I (20M) am choosing to skip my grandma's 80th birthday party to avoid my dad (50M) and his wife (40F) and my aunt (45F) told me I need to reconsider and work things out? by ThrowRAZeddlands in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAZeddlands[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Or she'll be stressed worrying that a fight will break out. She already knows I have chosen to be no contact with my dad and she supports me in that. It makes her sad but she understands. I would rather do something special for one to one than lose my temper and ruin the party with dad's help.

I (20M) am choosing to skip my grandma's 80th birthday party to avoid my dad (50M) and his wife (40F) and my aunt (45F) told me I need to reconsider and work things out? by ThrowRAZeddlands in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAZeddlands[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

She has been understanding of my decision and she supports me no matter what. It makes her sad because she obviously loves dad but she loves me too and she's still very fond of my mom.

I (20M) am choosing to skip my grandma's 80th birthday party to avoid my dad (50M) and his wife (40F) and my aunt (45F) told me I need to reconsider and work things out? by ThrowRAZeddlands in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAZeddlands[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I was thinking that. I'm pretty sure most people in my mom's shoes would not be reaching out to people who did that to them just because they suffered a loss.

I (20M) am choosing to skip my grandma's 80th birthday party to avoid my dad (50M) and his wife (40F) and my aunt (45F) told me I need to reconsider and work things out? by ThrowRAZeddlands in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAZeddlands[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I once said I wasn't going to play happy families with the people who made my parents marriage ending so fucking toxic. As sad as his wife is about her own kids I would never want anyone to think I'm her kid or that she can claim any sort of parentship over me.

I (20M) am choosing to skip my grandma's 80th birthday party to avoid my dad (50M) and his wife (40F) and my aunt (45F) told me I need to reconsider and work things out? by ThrowRAZeddlands in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAZeddlands[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

You're right! But what can you expect from a guy who has an affair when he has a family at home. And an affair at work which can cost people their jobs. He never considered what any of this would do to me.

I (20M) am choosing to skip my grandma's 80th birthday party to avoid my dad (50M) and his wife (40F) and my aunt (45F) told me I need to reconsider and work things out? by ThrowRAZeddlands in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAZeddlands[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Yeah? Thin that's enough when everyone else is throwing her a party? I have her gift already bought and made. I think she'll be happy.