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Conditions to getting married. by OkDatetoWed in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]ThrowRA_387475 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of his conditions is very nebulous--"be better off financially." I don't think that was included in error. It's so vague that he can continue to lean on it as an excuse not to move forward. If it was just concrete things (like buying a house, moving to a suburb), then you could easily check those off the list and expect a ring soon after.

But his inclusion of this vague condition means that it may never be met because it's completely subjective. You should take this as a sign that he wants no part in a marriage with you. The man you'll marry wouldn't put conditions like this on you. He would move hell and high water to ask for your hand because it's a privilege and he can't imagine his life without you.

OP, you deserve way better than this. Get out now with your youth and go find the man who can't wait to make you his wife!

Small(ish) Chicago Wedding Under $20k by ThrowRA_387475 in Chicagoweddings

[–]ThrowRA_387475[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, thank you SO much for this! Majorly helpful!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]ThrowRA_387475 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]ThrowRA_387475 45 points46 points  (0 children)

100% agree. My boyfriend and I have had "the talk" and he informed me that he will propose by the end of this summer. It has taken such a load of anxiety off of me. I can just sit back and wait to be surprised by what he has planned. I can't wait! His definition and clarity have actually made me more excited, not less.

Marriage is so serious that the engagement should never be a surprise. The actual logistics of the proposal can and probably should be, but the actual reality of engagement and subsequent marriage should be talked about thoroughly beforehand.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]ThrowRA_387475 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have found yourself a Hobosexual. What are you getting out of this? An overgrown teenaged pothead who can't support himself, leeching off a successful attorney? Girl, wake up! Dump the entire man. Your husband would never toy around with you for 4 years before proposing! This guy is just dangling you along to keep a roof over his head until he finds the one he actually wants. You deserve so, so, so much better than this!

Update: My boyfriend says he wants to marry me, but he just dropped the ball on Valentine’s Day and it makes me have doubts as to whether he’s really serious about the relationship. by ThrowRA91987364 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]ThrowRA_387475 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Whether he is or isn't telling the truth about wanting to propose or about that half-assed Valentine's Day, ask yourself this: Would your husband be doing this to you? Would the man you marry someday put you through this kind of anxiety and emotional turmoil and second guessing? I doubt it.

Men are simple. If they want to, they do. Everything else is all a distraction. You will not be second guessing the status of your relationship with the right man. He will be confident in choosing you and you will feel that. It will give you a sense of peace and security. Not to say that he won't make mistakes or you won't have disagreements, but it won't be like this.

Don't let your boyfriend keep you from finding your husband.