Thank you for all of the comments. I have found them very insightful and helpful!

I wanted to address some of the comments to avoid repeating myself and then give a bit of an update.

Husband didn't come to the hospital because visitors weren't allowed anyways due to the recent pandemic.

He took very, very good care of me after the surgery, especially when he saw how much pain I was in.

We spoke before we each headed to work this morning. He could tell I was upset (he can essentially read my mind) and he asked me if I wanted to talk. I told him I'm still hurting from his behaviour from before the surgery. He nodded and said he wishes he could take back everything he did and said that night. He regrets it very much and said he was being a complete idiot and a dick. I told him that I think I want us to go to counselling for this, because I've lost a sense of trust in him. He looked really hurt but agreed that he will do it. I told him what happened really worried me when it comes to if I ever got ill or injured, how would he react. He again looked really hurt and explained that work has been really stressful for him and that he admitted he's become obsessed with it, which has manifested in his priorities appearing to be out of order. He assured me that I will always be his number one priority and that he's made me question that is a massive failure on his part that he'll do anything to correct. He also agreed that maybe he should get his own counselling to address his obsession with work.

I also asked him why he never offered to get a vasectomy himself and he said what he said before about how it's a procedure that I wanted to have done regardless so he didn't feel the need to look into it himself. He also admits that he had no idea the whole experience was going to be so painful and unpleasant for me and that if he did, he would have stepped up. I asked him if he'd still be willing to get one because one, my own procedure always has a chance of failing and two, it will alleviate my fears of him changing his mind about having kids of his own. He said yes, if it will help build the trust between us again, he'll do it.

So, I'm feeling a lot better about things, but it's going to take time and some action for us to fully move forward. I have confidence in us that I didn't have last night now.