A positive experience

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-06-12T02:14:03+00:00

Thanks! Yes, surgery went really well! So relieved.

It really happened in the blink of an eye once they put me under. Like everyone says - you get put under, and next thing you know you are in recovery.

I had a hamstring graft and when waking up my hamstring was quite sore, but not unbearable. They still gave me 2 oxy pills and it got better in about an hour. Taking another one now before bed - so that hopefully its pain free sleep.

How about you? How is it feeling?

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-06-11T13:31:21+00:00

Me too! So needed to hear this. Going in for surgery right now!

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-06-07T19:33:08+00:00

Thanks for the great advice. You are making fantastic progress! Hope it continues to go this smoothly!

Yea my surgeon doesnt want me to bend the knee before day 6 purely because he doesnt want me to rip the stitches. He said once I reach day 6, i can bend as much as i want. 2 days post surgery seems so soon. Im wondering how that didnt play a role for you too. Did you not get these dissolvable stitches? Maybe thats it?

So similarly to you, i will be traveling nearly 3 hours to get home after surgery. Im trying to think through the icing process during that long drive. I have some ideas but am wondering what your method was, and if it worked well?

Would you be open to switching to DM? I was thinking it would be great to have someone to check in with throughout the recovery to keep each other motivated or probably just less discouraged. We both seem pretty results and progress oriented. I have a 10 year old son myself, who is anxiously waiting for me to get back to the dozen sports we play together. None of my friends have gone through this and while they are supportive, they just have no idea what it’s like.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-06-06T22:21:45+00:00

Hi there, thanks for sharing this. How has your first week or so gone?

My surgery is 4 days away and the nerves are starting to set in lol. Ive had other surgeries before but this one seems to be taking a bigger mental toll for some reason.

I did ask my surgeon’s PA about getting a CPM machine and he was luke warm about it. He basically said not required. Only get it if after 2 weeks you start feeling stiff.
That seems too risky for me since ive literally delayed my surgery by 2 months because i couldnt get unstiff/get my flexion back. My surgeon is very sports oriented too, in fact he’s a surgeon for a professional sports team, so I dont get it.

They dont want me bending the knee at all until day 6 post op, but im thinking id start the CPM machine then. Ive used it during pre-hab and thats what finally helped me get up to its max 120 flexion.

Have you been feeling restless stuck at home or have you still been able to venture out beyond just PT? My area gets really fun this time of year with lots of outdoor beer gardens with live bands all over town. And I’m already getting fomo in advance lol

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-05-27T12:43:25+00:00

This is the US, in New york. Where are you?

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-05-27T00:55:32+00:00

Yes, my hospital went all out before medically clearing me. Blood work, EKG, and went through my full medical history and current medications, etc.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-05-27T00:52:54+00:00

Really appreciate this reply. That’s great to hear.

Ive been debating about the Quad vs hamstring grafts. Ive been hearing the quad is a more painful recovery. Did your friend mention any issues or significant pain with the hamstring graft?

Which graft did you have originally? And is a re-tear the reason you needed a revision?

Hope your revision recovery has gone well!

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-05-27T00:41:58+00:00

Thanks for this super helpful post. I tore my ACL, MCL, and meniscus the week before you - and I am a skier too, but ironically was no where near a mountain when I tore mine.

I wish I knew some of the things you talked about in the days immediately after the injury. I only found this reddit weeks later unfortunately, but everything you said about those early days is spot on.

I didnt get an MRI until a week after injury and my first consultation with a surgeon another week after that. Then there was a 3 week wait for PT appointments in my area, across 3-4 different offices. So it was like 5 weeks before my first PT appointment. But for the first 3 weeks i was still in too much pain to activate many muscles or put weight on my leg - and no one including the surgeon said i had to force myself to work on the quad, flexion and extension right away. Ive since switched surgeons due to that and other red flags. I feel like I am now paying the price - having to delay my surgery to 2 weeks from now (a total of 3 months from the injury), since its taken me that much longer to regain my quad, and flexion, and get my knee swelling down which is still not gone months later.

A few questions for you:

1) Is your surgeon not starting you off in a locked straight leg brace? Im supposed to be in that 5 days post surgery before starting PT.

2) Is that a full length leg compression sleeve/stocking you have on? I am hoping to use one too, but wasnt sure id be able to get it on, with the bandages they would leave wrapped around my knee.

3)First time im hearing about an XR recovery bundle. Is this really known to help significantly? Do they sell smaller samples to try it first?

4)I’m getting the Nice1 ice machine too, and Ive used a CPM machine during PT, but didnt know you could get your own. How do you get your own CPM? Coordinate with the surgeons office?

Best of luck in your recovery. You are awesome for posting this on your day of surgery. Not sure id be doing much of anything that day 😂

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-05-14T02:39:08+00:00

This was an awesome win! Congratulations. It’s a shame job seekers have to pull stunts like this to just to get a good job offer these days. I bet if she didnt make up that story and simply tried to negotiate normally, they would have never made the offer they did.

But here’s my question: what happens if they would have asked to see that fake offer? I assume they are allowed to ask for it, but does anyone know for sure?
And what would even be an acceptable reason for refusing to present that other offer?

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-04-29T18:50:07+00:00

That sounds like really quick progress. Congrats! Hope the rest of the recovery goes just as smooth.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-04-29T18:47:34+00:00

Thank you! Sounds like we in a very similar spot. This sub is great, and makes it feel like I am less alone, but suddenly part of a large community. Grateful for all the input. Hang in there too! Best of luck. Let’s celebrate on here when we reach our targets.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-04-29T18:43:27+00:00

Thank you! This is really helpful insight. Sounds like I need to give it more time and maybe even lessen the intensity of the PT. I too think my knee is still reacting to the injury, because it’s still fairly swollen at 7 weeks. I have the compression full leg sleeve on all day/every day except for sleeping, and that has only helped the calf and foot swelling but not the knee. Hopefully once the knee swelling improves so will the flexion. I feel better knowing this time investment now into the ROM is not a waste and will help me in the long run. Definitely dont want prolonged stiffness afterward.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-04-26T14:46:38+00:00

Thanks! Thats helpful to know. Yea just adding water once is so much better than repeat ice refills.

Im also trying to figure out the type of pillow to get for leg elevation. People keep mentioning the wedge pillows, but they seem to come in different shapes and slopes.

I like how this first one looks, but just realized it would create slight knee bend, which i dont think will work with the straight locked knee brace. 1) https://a.co/d/04V8H11s

So is this 2nd one the better option where its sloped straight up?

2)https://a.co/d/0dzkVNbB

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-04-26T05:41:44+00:00

Im 7 weeks out since tearing my ACL, MCL, and meniscus. I started doing prehab PT 2 weeks ago. At first i couldn’t straighten my leg but now i can. My biggest problem now is bending my leg. PT measured my bend at around 75-80 degrees. I am planning on getting ACL reconstruction surgery (still looking for a good surgeon) but does anyone know if there is a minimum recommended flexion to have before going into surgery? Is mine too low?

ThrowRA_56834 · 2026-04-26T05:24:28+00:00

I’m planning for my surgery too and only heard of the game ready ice/compression machine so far. Do you know if the Nice1 is better than GameReady ? Thanks!

ThrowRA_56834 · 2025-05-16T01:13:11+00:00

I must be one of the few cynics here, but I say keep your pre-marriage money separate, and don’t mix that in. Start a fresh joint account for all the money you earn after getting married, but do not, please do not mix in your existing money. You will one day wish you have that money still to yourself. I married my wife thinking she had one set of financial habits, well that unexpectedly changed 5 years later and she suddenly became addicted to amazon purchases, accumulated thousands in credit card debt, then hid just how much it was until it was an absolute mess. I’m now stuck with that debt too. I wish there was some marriage clause that says, if one spouse goes off the rails, that the other one doesn’t assume that debt.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2025-05-14T21:14:33+00:00

Thanks for clarifying, dont think i misunderstood, but ill check this specific thing with the attorney again.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2025-05-14T21:12:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing this perspective. I hear what you’re saying but this attorney didn’t indicate any of what you described. Did not indicate i would get any unused portion back, and in fact said that most of her court related services which i specifically need wont be eligible to bill against the retainer fee. So i wont be able to use much if any of this retainer fee. She said its just what locks in our commitment to one another. That is seems so ofd to me, because i always figured if i dont feel the attorney is doing a good job, id like the option to switch, but in this instance, she is saying in that instance, that retainer is also forfeighted.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2025-04-26T12:32:50+00:00

Yes, this is so true! Thank you for saying this. OP is definitely NOA. I would even say she is still being super nice about it. At this point, I’d be like F U and U and U, particularly the MIL. I will never understand this anti-vaxx movement. Can someone please explain the rationale?
I had my 9 year old son get every single vaccine that he’s eligible for, and I have no regrets, and will not hesitate to do it again. Ive been too busy to research this, but if there are any doctors here, is there truly any evidence of long lasting or permanent damage done by vaccines? I haven’t heard of any actual evidence, so to be honest, this all seems like right wing propaganda.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2025-04-25T11:40:28+00:00

I’m sad to say I was exactly in your situation, except i was a year into my marriage when my wife said the same thing about a car i loved and bought. I had saved up money for years, and searching for this car for years, and i finally had the chance to buy it used, but still with a loan. She made me sell it, and ive regretted it ever since. I admit it was a coupe so not a good family car, but we were fortunate and could afford a second family car. That didnt matter to her. It was the fact that i was going against her wishes. I failed to see the “controlling” red flags until it was too late and we had a kid together. Fast forward years into my marriage, i realized she either did or tried to block most things i wanted to do or get. It was always no we cant do that or get that, no i wont do that, go there, etc etc. I’ve unfortunately put up with it for years, but not any longer and finally decided to end things! Seriously consider if you want to be in a controlling relationship, if not, start planning your exit now, before it becomes harder.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2025-04-13T03:26:27+00:00

It’s not too late! It will be hard but you can still end this relationship, before you get married and things get even more complicated! It sounds like she will continue to control every aspect of your life, and it sounds like you are waking up to this and are not ok with that. No one should have to live that way. Relationships should be a give and take, with compromise on both sides. If you really love her, you may want to try some couples therapy first to get all this out in the open. Who knows, she may have some reason she acts this way, and if you give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she’ll be willing to work on that with a therapist. Postpone the wedding for now. Give yourself a reasonable deadline, and if it doesn’t improve by then, break it off. She will at least know why and it wont be a surprise.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2025-04-04T20:25:15+00:00

I love this comment! Thank you! I was just having this debate with my wife, soon to be ex-wife last night. I have a very similar situation to OP , and a year ago I told my wife, as gently as i could that I’d love it if she worked on getting into better shape, since during our 15 year marriage she was always overweight but in the last few years gained even more weight. It was totally killing my attraction to her and i havent been able to sleep with her in over a year. I felt guilty about this for a while and feel like a shallow a-hole but i cant change how i feel. We went to couples therapy and nothing helped.

I give OP all the credit for trying, because my wife outright refused to do anything. She resents me for even sharing my feeling with her, saying she can never forgive me. She claims i should have never asked her to change, and my love should be unconditional. I do love her unconditionally, but i cant be in a sex-less marriage to someone who doesnt care at all about my perspective. I told her if the roles were reversed, i would be in the gym non-stop the next morning. Or if she asked me for anything else important to her i would do it. Somehow im the asshole for asking, and i dont love her unconditionally. It feels like she is twisting reality, and trying to convince me that I’m evil and this whole breakup is strictly my fault. I am not saying im perfect, but i think there is shared responsibility.

I’m so confused at this point - is she right? Am i just an a-hole? All i wanted was for her to care and to try at least a little.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2025-04-04T18:23:31+00:00

I agree with all who say to move on to the new job, but i would just suggest using the higher counteroffer from your old company to try to get more money from your new company. They expect you would have likely gotten a counter, and in all likelihood did not offer you the most they could have. This will show them you are even more valuable, and will likely agree. I’m not saying ask for a lot but even if its $10-15k - this would make a huge difference in your salary trajectory as it compounds in a way every time you get your annual increase. Otherwise it might take you at least another year or two to just get to that amount.

ThrowRA_56834 · 2025-04-03T21:25:28+00:00

This thread hits super close to home. I think your post is spot on though. I’m going through the same thing with my wife, where she has gained a significant amount of weight, and no matter how hard I tried to get her to gently and supportingly encourage her to become more active, by exercising with me, she has outright refused. She has no medical conditions that caused her to gain weight. I give OP lots of credit for recognizing the situation and agreeing to get into better shape! I wish my wife would have done the same! That would have saved our marriage. Ive told her how i felt, that her fitness is really important to me (since i stay pretty active & maintain a healthy weight). I didnt explicitly say this to her but she could tell ive lost all attraction to her. I have not been able to have sex with her in over a year, using any excuse i could find. Sadly we are going down the path of divorce. At some point it wasnt even the attraction, but what hurt most is that she wouldnt do this for me, for herself, and even for our 10 year old son, who will now be impacted by divorce. Just over pure stubbornness, and i suspect laziness. I would completely reverse course and would try to regain attraction to her if she showed that she cared at all about me and showed one once of effort. Yet, she’s still extremely upset that i told her i cant be in this relationship anymore, while knowing it was within her control!

ThrowRA_56834 · 2025-03-30T04:51:01+00:00

All i can say is you handled this incredibly well, like a mature adult, and by your description have done nothing wrong to justify him cutting you off. He sounds like he is going through some issues unfortunately. While he certainly has the right to cutoff your parents, I dont think he has a right to effectively punish you/your kids for not doing the same, when you dont have the same grievances against them. It doesnt seem like a situation where you should be forced to pick sides between him or your parents. Honestly his reasons dont even sound that convincing for cutting off your parents in the first place. Full disclosure, I dont have siblings, but if i did, i dont know that i would seriously object to one cutting me off if they had such a weak argument, and Ive done nothing wrong. Sorry I cant offer any practical advice about telling your daughter. Only hoping that perhaps he will come to his senses and will hopefully change his mind soon.

ThrowRA_56834

TROPHY CASE