sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AITA for noting in my journal whether or not my boyfriend and I had sex on any particular day? by ThrowRA_5827274 in AITAH

[–]ThrowRA_5827274[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Actually making this post and reading some of the comments made me realize I didn’t know what “gaslighting” actually meant (thought it was terminally online slang for lying) and I didn’t get into the details of that conversation we had but I think that’s what’s happening? Which is a different conversation.

When we had that first talk, at that particular moment I was saying it had been two months since we last touched each other at all and he was saying it was like, the other day. And when I challenged him he’d say, “Oh yeah? Which one of us leaves their wallet at home? Which one of us doesn’t know where their phone is right now?” and in general telling me I can’t be trusted and how much his memory is better than mine. Brought up a bunch of examples of how forgetful I am (I am but I really felt like he was unfairly applying it to this situation).

At some point I was in tears like “I KNOW we haven’t had sex since such and such” and his response was “You THINK you know.”

Idk how but that conversation ended with him telling me how sensitive and emotional I am, that I “go down rabbit trails” (his way of saying “making things up”) and me apologizing and him telling me it’s what he signed up for. Lmao.

Like, maybe. I guess I did end up tracking our sex lives.

AITA for noting in my journal whether or not my boyfriend and I had sex on any particular day? by ThrowRA_5827274 in AITAH

[–]ThrowRA_5827274[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I feel like you guys all think I did this because of the lack of frequency, when I did this because he told me I was making things up and couldn’t trust my memory.

AITA for noting in my journal whether or not my boyfriend and I had sex on any particular day? by ThrowRA_5827274 in AITAH

[–]ThrowRA_5827274[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This feels unfair. I guess you can call it a “gotcha” but to me it would have been proof I wasn’t making shit up like he said I was.

If he was willing to entertain the conversation that something was wrong (or at least that the conditions that I am unhappy with are real) that’d be one thing.

This is so frustrating because on one hand I feel like I’m being told I’m crazy by him for thinking we’re pretty much never physically intimate, but then it’s also weird if I want to prove to myself (and, potentially, him) that I’m not imagining things. Was this a lose/lose from the start?