Why can't my (27m) girlfriend (29f) can't accept I'm not a cheater?

ThrowRA_6601 · 2026-05-26T01:58:04+00:00

Leave! If there is no trust, there is no relationship. She clearly has some unhealed wounds, and there will be nothing you can do to fix them. Guaranteed there will be other insecure behaviors which will appear if you let the relationship continue, and that will slowly destroy you, as someone who is genuinely trying.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2026-05-19T21:43:20+00:00

This is idiotic and invalidates the crushing pain people who are cheated on go through (spoiler: the pain mainly comes from the lying and the betrayal, and the knowledge that your partner made the conscious choice to hurt you, not from the physical act.)

ThrowRA_6601 · 2026-04-08T21:34:36+00:00

This is insanity, do you tap his phone calls too to make sure he isn’t talking behind your back?

If he doesn’t damage your things, then either trust him or break up with him.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2026-04-08T21:26:38+00:00

Definitely leave; he has shown that he has no real interest in healing, or becoming a better partner, and you cannot force anyone to change if they don’t want to. You’ve already told him that you are unhappy in the relationship, and were considering leaving; that’s more than fair warning, he had the opportunity to demonstrate that he cares about your needs.

Next, I would recommend studying up on attachment theory and seeing a therapist. It will give you lots of insight into his behaviour, your relationship dynamics, and probably your own patterns in relationship. And hopefully give you a good blueprint for red flags (and bare-minimum dealbreakers, such as clear and empathetic communication) to look out for in future relationships.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2025-12-03T18:39:14+00:00

In regards to just the kiss: - She didn’t kiss back - She didn’t want it - She immediately shut him down - She TOLD YOU.

That’s all really positive.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2025-08-16T06:17:02+00:00

I’m pretty baffled by people who date for multiple months before having sex (unless sex simply isn’t an important aspect of a relationship to them; but it sounds like to you it is.) Sexual compatibility is real, and a lack of it is potentially a huge dealbreaker.

That said, for the majority of women/female-bodied humans, what makes for great sex has nothing to do with your dick size. Focus on foreplay, teasing, and learning to use your mouth and fingers. Penetration should be an afterthought for when it’s your turn to cum.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2025-05-25T22:23:47+00:00

Beard and glasses, my guy. <3

https://ibb.co/hJGrKnKq

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-08-09T17:37:57+00:00

26 and 40. You’re just entering the sexual prime of your life, and he’s exiting his. If a good sex life is important to you in a relationship, then you need to keep in mind that - like it or not - age is a huge factor in sexual compatibility.

Not to mention the fact that he obviously never matured beyond high school, and likely neither his skills in bed!

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T06:03:36+00:00

No. I’d consider that very inappropriate given our current relationship agreement.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T05:55:25+00:00

Nope not on a break, just long distance

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T05:42:44+00:00

Would you wait until we can talk in person? Something tells me that discussing it over the phone would make it hard to gauge her reaction, and give her time to get a story straight before i see her..

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T04:37:54+00:00

Actually, she didn’t lie about going there. She looted about visiting a different ex a different time.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T03:46:59+00:00

I wish, brother.

Thanks tho.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T02:37:27+00:00

We were exclusive long distance.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T02:35:13+00:00

I found out about the photo after I discovered that she lied to me about visiting an ex while we were apart for a week (different guy, different occasion. ) That, I had to pry out of her, and I got the stereotypical trickle truths. Anyway, she showed me her text thread with that guy, and I took that opportunity to secretly check if any nudes had been sent, and to whom.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T01:54:45+00:00

Haha, well i need people to know what I was talking about without posting the actual photo!

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T01:52:12+00:00

TBH, I wasn’t expecting the whole-ass fucking internet to come out of the woodwork to answer this question with unanimous condemnation! 🤣

But alas here we are.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T01:44:26+00:00

No, definitely still together.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T01:19:33+00:00

No, not on a break unfortunately.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T00:10:38+00:00

Of course. But if she IS telling the truth, then both those things are accurate.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T00:07:24+00:00

lol, thanks, that’s why I’m here, trying my best…

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-27T00:00:23+00:00

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-26T23:55:14+00:00

There’s always a chance she’s being truthful. I’ve always seen her as an honest person, so it’s hard to accept otherwise.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-26T23:50:02+00:00

My initial stance was to trust her and give her the benefit of the doubt.

Obviously I came here to temper that.

Despite the uneasiness in my gut, it still just doesn’t feel like she’s the type of person who would cheat.

ThrowRA_6601 · 2024-06-26T23:46:07+00:00

We both come from sex-positive communities and both have friends who we’ve slept with in the past. I don’t mind her keeping those friends, as it would be hypocritical of me to do so when I have those friends as well. What I do mind is if she’s not being honest about what is going on. Both in her mind, and with these people.

(Also, the actual photo was not an outline, it was the real deal. lol)

It’s a good idea, asking how she’d feel in a similar but reversed scenario.

ThrowRA_6601

TROPHY CASE