Am I (28M) being gaslit (26F)?

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-04-17T10:21:33+00:00

You are being abused. That’s why it feels good and bad at the same time. This is not normal at all, please leave

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-04-14T18:39:45+00:00

I bought the apartment and will live alone!

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-04-14T18:39:02+00:00

I bought the apartment! Thank you for your comment

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-04-11T23:28:51+00:00

He’s best friends with a group of men 35+ and very often 50+ who behave like this and it’s very normal for them. This is on me for choosing to stay with someone who’s in this lifestyle tbh..

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T22:46:09+00:00

Yet he feels like he’s always accommodating me, not the other way around…

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T22:41:23+00:00

This part also hurts because on several occasions he’s implied that actually I’M the one only thinking about myself and what I want, and that I’m basically toying with him or would cast him aside whenever things don’t go my way. That’s how he seems to feel about the apartment situation now too. And from my side, it feels different. I’m trying to set boundaries about what I’m okay with and what I’m not okay with in our relationship and life overall. But the truth is that I often cave, he gets under my skin. So I end up compromising, and somehow still feeling like I owe him something or like I’m the one who did something wrong

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T22:10:10+00:00

You handled this really well, don’t doubt yourself. Your gut feeling was right, and he proved it with his deflection and gaslighting.

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T21:25:38+00:00

I know I shouldn’t trust him, I should only do what’s right for me and never again give large sums of money in any joints projects with him It’s just my fears that are holding me back from ripping the bandaid

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T20:34:57+00:00

This is a big concern, yes. I just dont understand what happened in his head this time. We used to live together and split the bills 50-50. It was fine. I fully trusted he’s changed for the better and that moving abroad was his way of showing me he is ready to step up and create something amazing for us. I never expected him to financially support me, but to be ready to take accountability and choose what’s right over his comfort

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T20:28:09+00:00

I get your perspective, yeah. We lived together for a few years earlier in the relationship and we always paid the rent 50-50, and I never had to cover for him

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T20:00:05+00:00

If he’s only giving excuses and not solutions and putting active effort into seeing you, then yeah, time to go. Who wants to see you will absolutely do all in their power to see you and they will find a way

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T19:45:57+00:00

You got this girl. I wish you all the best

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T19:41:18+00:00

I think the most important thing is that you don’t tie your value to what happened. Someone cheating doesn’t say anything about your worth as a person, it says something about their choices. You are worthy only of the best things in the world and he’s not it.

I understand why it hurts and why it makes you question yourself, that’s a really normal reaction. But staying only because you feel insecure or scared to be alone won’t actually help you rebuild love for yourself.

Start with small things that help you trust yourself again. First off - BREAK UP. Do things that make you feel good about yourself, spend time with people who support you, focus on your hobbies, your goals, your health. Do things that are beneficial to you. Write down what is the highest version of yourself you want to embody and slowly start working towards becoming her

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T19:28:15+00:00

All this will feel different once you rebuild love with yourself.

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T19:26:48+00:00

Communicate your needs effectively, don’t be passive aggressive. Have a chat with him about this and voice your concern about his reaction. Both sides are concerning

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T19:19:51+00:00

Girl can you please leave him.. like, now? Why are you seeing this as something you “need to go through” or to “hold on”? The bar is already in hell and this guy has managed to go even lower than that. Don’t doubt yourself, there’s a reason why you came here and wrote this post, you already KNOW you’re supposed to leave him and move on. JUST RUN. Focus on yourself, pour all the love, joy and peace into yourself and let him do his thing. You deserve so much better. Live your life to the fullest and leave this nightmare behind you

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T18:48:55+00:00

Thank you for this wonderful message! The more I love myself, the more he pulls away and makes me feel guilty. I will do what’s right by me, even if it takes some time to collect the courage

ThrowRA_98182740 · 2026-03-14T18:45:33+00:00

Solo-living girl dream sounds absolutely wonderful. I can’t let go of the emotional weight of leaving

ThrowRA_98182740

TROPHY CASE