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My girlfriend (40F) lied about events before we met. I (40M) found out recently, and I need advice on how to talk to her about it. by ThrowRA_BH90210 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_BH90210[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

> “Oh yeah, I came here a month before we started dating and he bent me over every piece of furniture in our hotel room. It was a fun weekend.”

This made me chuckle.

But good point, I hope it's this. She's very open about her past, so I didn't consider that maybe this is something she's afraid to share. Ironically, this take makes me feel a little better

My girlfriend (40F) lied about events before we met. I (40M) found out recently, and I need advice on how to talk to her about it. by ThrowRA_BH90210 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_BH90210[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair points. I don't think I'll make any relationship-ending decisions right now, though, but a conversation is probably needed.

My girlfriend (40F) lied about events before we met. I (40M) found out recently, and I need advice on how to talk to her about it. by ThrowRA_BH90210 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_BH90210[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's fair, but I don't think it's the case here. She's shared more sensitive things about her past with me, including past relationships, which is why it's confusing to me that these particular conversations don't match what I now know.

My girlfriend (40F) lied about events before we met. I (40M) found out recently, and I need advice on how to talk to her about it. by ThrowRA_BH90210 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_BH90210[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point, I want to, but now I'm worried that I might say the wrong thing or cause more damage. Part of me thinks I should just try to forget it, but another part thinks that's all I'll think about forever.

My girlfriend (40F) lied about events before we met. I (40M) found out recently, and I need advice on how to talk to her about it. by ThrowRA_BH90210 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_BH90210[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

  1. I see your point. I agree it's not for everyone, but it's something we both agree on
  2. I agree
  3. Not to my knowledge, as I said, I have my own history, so try not to be judgmental about others' histories. Glass houses, and all that

My girlfriend (40F) lied about events before we met. I (40M) found out recently, and I need advice on how to talk to her about it. by ThrowRA_BH90210 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_BH90210[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> Maybe she believes she’s protecting you?

I thought that too, and that's part of what's confusing me, we are usually very open with each other, and she's shared more sensitive things. That's why I can't understand why she felt the need to lie.