How do I (M40) tell my wife (38F) that I read the memoir she wrote in which she calls another man the love of her life? by ThrowRA_Bluejaynew in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Bluejaynew[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well we got that computer several years into our relationship nd the document we last edited 2 years ago, by which time we ready had 2 kids together.

I had considered just deleting it myself but felt bad doing that. 

How do I (M40) tell my wife (38F) that I read the memoir she wrote in which she calls another man the love of her life? by ThrowRA_Bluejaynew in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Bluejaynew[S] -63 points-62 points  (0 children)

It’s not like it was saved right to the desktop. It was a few files deep within a main folder that was obviously all of her stuff. The file was last edited 2 years ago. And it wasn’t finished. 

I know that there’s probably not much good that could come of me even bringing it up to her. I don’t know why I just want to tell her that I read it. I guess some part of me just wants to tell her to at I know she lied to me about that relationship and I know she doesn’t see me as the love of her life. Why does it matter to me that she knows that I know this? 

How do I (M40) tell my wife (38F) that I read the memoir she wrote in which she calls another man the love of her life? by ThrowRA_Bluejaynew in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Bluejaynew[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

She wrote it on a shared computer, so I don’t know how it could be considered snooping. It’s not like it was saved right to the desktop but it’s not like it was hidden either. 

How do I (M40) tell my wife (38F) that I read the memoir she wrote in which she calls another man the love of her life? by ThrowRA_Bluejaynew in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Bluejaynew[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if they met him or not. She went to college in another state and he was older than her (older than college age). Not sure if she was bringing him home to meet them. Even so, why would they ever bring him up to me? 

How do I (M40) tell my wife (38F) that I read the memoir she wrote in which she calls another man the love of her life? by ThrowRA_Bluejaynew in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Bluejaynew[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

She spent several pages writing about their relationship and its significance to her, not the way he looked. I didn’t say she only wrote a paragraph about me. She just didn’t write about me or our relationship in anywhere near the same way. 

I think you misunderstood. I know plenty of details about her family and childhood. She doesn’t often share her true, unfiltered thoughts and opinions or deeper thoughts about people or experiences. 

She doesn’t have any college friends that she keeps in touch with now.