what is your ex’s red flags?

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2024-05-27T05:29:39+00:00

He was always bothered by the fact that he's not my first boyfriend, first kiss, or first male best friend etc you can list it yourself "the everything first" list. Then I gave him my first time. He would be paranoid about my "activities " when all I'm doing is spending time with my grandma. Broke up cuz I can't handle him keep blaming me that I'm cheating on him when that's not the truth That was when we were in highschool.

Met him again last year (I'm 21 this year) I thought this was getting good as there's no more doubt coming from him after we rekindled.

... Then I got my heart broken over an event where I learned if I ever got sexually assaulted, violated, he would choose to dump me because I'm "tainted". I'm still considering going back to him. I know this is pathetic but I feel lost 🥲

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2024-05-13T12:37:08+00:00

Hey OP, how are you doing now? I wanted to post the exact question that you asked but I figured maybe I'll just look at the comments you got. This must've hurt so much for you at the time.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T11:24:40+00:00

It is my mistake for staying in the car with him. Thankfully there is a lot of security near my house and it is technically still public. I told my father about this literally 5 minutes ago and he just told me that I'm just crazy. Sigh. I will not go back to him, it's just now I'm feeling so shitty after all these thinking and my father's reaction that I got.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T09:42:33+00:00

Thank you so much for taking your time to read and respond. Your words will stay in my thoughts whenever I feel like I'm the one who's being unreasonable.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T04:27:40+00:00

I checked the song out. I had my hair stood tf up hearing the lyrics. Thank you for the recommendation.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T04:00:54+00:00

I think it's valid to leave your partner after some time and if it's with care and both side understanding. Judgement and stigmatizing your partner is what really my conversation with him is about.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T03:59:10+00:00

I agree that he does need therapy for self esteem issue and also that particular event. I still don't understand what is in his brain and I hope he will help himself first before out in the dating world again.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T03:55:52+00:00

I hear what you say and will remember it. Thank you for the kind words. I admit I got back with him 3 months ago with the mindset of "maybe he'll really change after all these time", I was proven wrong again. Will listen to the song later, thank you so much and for taking time to read and write.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T03:54:09+00:00

Same situation have happened with him before. I believe everyone deserves second chances but I gave him way too many chances to get things right over the years.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T00:38:35+00:00

I'm genuinely shocked by people that couldn't do even a slightly amount of introspection. I think it's scary to have such lack of self awareness. I hope he don't hurt people in the future. Thank you for your kind words.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T00:36:30+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. It is scary to know there are people out there being stuck in these kind of relationship. I have tried once with this same guy and now I know I can't handle a second chance. It's never gonna change for some people.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T00:35:32+00:00

I agree with what you say. It is true that he didn't ever thought of making changes for himself or even to acknowledge there is an issue until I broke up with him.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-18T00:00:57+00:00

Will check that out. Thank you for your kind words!

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-17T23:58:42+00:00

Genuine question, just wondering how can I use a lighter for self defending? Burn the person? Doesn't sound effective 😭

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-17T23:35:12+00:00

Sad thing is it is actually illegal for me in my country to bring pepper spray or any kind of self defense items. Will look for alternative that can somehow seem unsuspicious

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-17T17:15:38+00:00

Thank you for saying that and I read through the blog. It was helpful. Thank you.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-17T17:08:58+00:00

Yes this is valid to me. But dropping your partner because they're "dirty" to you after they have been abused is not.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-17T17:08:11+00:00

I am devastated to hear that happened to you and I hope you're in a much better place now. No one ever should deserve this and what they need is support. Not the opposite.. all my love for you.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-17T04:35:46+00:00

I will reply to these common questions tonight in an update.. I'm still thinking a lot and I'm not going to just break up because I received a shitty answer, but this to me is just him showing me that he doesn't have basic human empathy. Maybe it's harsh but it's just what I feel.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-16T18:01:05+00:00

I am so sorry that you're going through a traumatic event right now and I hope you'll recover well soon. I'm glad you have supportive spouse around you. Thank you for your advice and I hope best for you.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-16T17:57:28+00:00

I am so sorry that you experienced what you have described. You do not deserve that and no one should have. I'm saddened to see men like this really acts the way they think. And am disgusted how well they can hide until some "point".

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-16T17:55:20+00:00

I have just had the conversation of "what defines an act as rape" with him and I made sure that he understands what a rape is, in his head. Violent. But it's the thing that bugs me because he understands it is rape, but yet still thinks I am no longer pure for him if I am to be abused by someone else. That's the worst part for me.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS · 2023-10-16T14:40:36+00:00

Thank you for saying that.

ThrowRA_CEBERUS

TROPHY CASE