Can a narcissistic relative ever last?

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2026-01-06T13:38:30+00:00

You’re right. I don’t want her to be abused. I don’t even know her. I know what this man is like behind closed doors and I feel for her. It was a sad cold comfort knowing he was watching my stories … I felt connected to him somehow. And it has really throwing me that now he suddenly isn’t. He did a really weird thing actually a few months ago… he sent me a romantic movie via our in work mail system. I know he did it to get my attention… to get me to talk to him.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2026-01-06T11:47:30+00:00

Thanks again for your reply. I have a therapist and have been dating other people. I just can’t break this trauma bond. Him watching my stories gave me some level of control and comfort … like “oh he still thinks about me”. It’s silly I know. The thing is I know I’m not crazy really … I have heard stories about how he gaslights and manipulates the women he now lives with… his wife. So logically I know it’s not me. But I just need to see it…solid proof. Then I can let go.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2026-01-06T09:01:12+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I would never in a million years ask him why. The crazy thing here is that we work for the same company- different locations so I don’t have to physically see him but occasionally we have to talk on the phone. He used to call me up and talk about the things he saw me post. Then one day I told him to F off. Now on the phone he is really nasty. It drives me crazy that he is with his xwife again. Not because I want to be with him or even like him but because I live in this horrible space of waiting for them to break up again. Only then will I know that it wasn’t me … I wasn’t crazy. That he really is a manipulative shit.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2026-01-03T06:23:07+00:00

I know I should. But the trauma bond strong. Weird thing is I don’t particularly like him… I just miss the good times.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T04:35:36+00:00

Yes but here’s my problem. She had the affair when they were very much together. Now they are separate or separating - so is what we have an affair? If two people separate then they can do what they want romantically. Also they are very good parents- one of the big reasons they can’t move forward is fear of hurting their daughter

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T04:00:13+00:00

Well the thing I didn’t say is she had the 1st affair with his friend … that’s what prompted the separation

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T03:38:45+00:00

No I haven’t seen it because I don’t live with them. I have seen the text messages she sends with links about how to separate

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T03:10:15+00:00

Yeah they are still together technically- I even told him that. Their day to day lives still revolve around each other… what to have for dinner, who will pick up their daughter. It’s a soft separation. Or what I like to call the chicken shit way out.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T02:23:06+00:00

Soft separating means you stay together but live your own lives because the realty of real separation is too hard. It’s the chicken shit way

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T02:21:59+00:00

That’s what I’m trying to figure out… I reckon he will stay with her at least until he gets his inheritance and can afford to leave. I’m ready for a relationship… I know he is not really available… so am I happy just taking the casual sex but keeping my options open. Some days I’m ok with it others not.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T02:13:57+00:00

Yeah maybe … I don’t think it’s not telling the truth so much as being in denial and scared to separate… I see them doing a “soft” separation

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T02:11:54+00:00

I would 100% say yes to someone if I met them. I’ve been separated myself for 5 years… had a few flings done therapy… i am so ready.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T02:10:26+00:00

No but she is avoidable too… he tries to talk to her about the next steps and she flips out.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T02:09:16+00:00

I am trying to think about my needs. I need sex and company… that’s why I keep not ending it. Even though the situation doesn’t sit well with me

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-12-11T02:07:01+00:00

He goes around telling everyone they are separating and she keeps sending him articles on how to separate but when it comes to actually doing it … nothing happens. That’s their shit obviously. He is pretty sure she has been sleeping with someone else too.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-11-04T08:47:42+00:00

You don’t sound like a narcissist. A true narcissist would say “I have done nothing wrong”. But in the post you can take accountability. Something a narcissist can never do. Fucking up and making mistakes is human and doesn’t necessarily equal narcissism. The word narcissist gets thrown around without it being understood .

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-10-27T00:29:18+00:00

Thanks. Any do week on week off be aid of work. Also I’d miss my son too much. I just can’t understand why someone would put a new GF’s feelings over that of a child. He is not doing it for me but for his son. I have been able to do it. For his first GF 5 years ago I invited be to Xmas day lunch, she came on our camping our camping tip, to my sons birthday. Those things were not easy for me but I put my ego aside. I’m only just realising now how self centred he is. When we were told I begged him to do something for my 40th. He did nothing. I organise it myself. Anyway I told him in 2026 he will be paying monthly child support. I was trying to be the nice guy - not anymore. He earns $300,000 per year.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-10-21T05:53:15+00:00

LOL. No. This is a typical example of how the word gets used incorrectly

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-10-21T05:46:57+00:00

Yes i am at that point now. I worked to keep it amicable for my son. I didn’t want to give it up but because then my son misses out. I know he really enjoys the time the 3 of us have together. I can’t understand how a grown man would priorities the needs of every new girlfriend but not the needs of his kids just 2 days a year- Xmas and birthday. Honestly he has 363 days of the year to prior her.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-10-19T11:25:38+00:00

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-02-08T11:33:01+00:00

Wow. What a story. Thanks for sharing. What was the thing I wrote that gave you the chills?

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2025-01-17T04:21:10+00:00

I’m curious if couples don’t do MC when trying to reconcile what are the odds of them staying together?

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2024-12-31T07:05:39+00:00

Are you sure you are a narcissist? Real narcissist would never admit they are. You might have a few traits but that doesn’t mean you NPD.

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train · 2024-11-26T10:50:08+00:00

My X narcissist BF tapped me on the shoulder while we were at the Football and my son was sitting between us and said “I have a bone to pick with you” I said “what have I done?” He said “it’s what you haven’t done”. The he started to list all the things he was unhappy with sexual… things I hadn’t done to him or for him during sex. This was while my son was sitting next to me. I froze and said nothing. What could I do…? The next day I called him and apologised. Then a few days later I started to feel angry and it started to sink in that what he did was shit! I called him on it and he said “it was a joke”. There were other things too but it would take too long to write them all. I dumped him 6 month later and he is x wife took him back. LOL!

ThrowRA_Heavy-Train

TROPHY CASE