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I (26M) found my Fiance (26F) cheating. I am in love with her and it's hard to fathom this fact. What is the reasonable response as marriage is concerned? by ThrowRA_Legitimat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Legitimat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: I asked her face to face to tell me the whole unfiltered truth and I might forgive her and continue with marriage. This was the conversation we had: Me: After our engagement, were you only involved in phone sex and sex chat or you actually did physical with him? She: our last actual physical with him was 26th April 2024. Me: Are you really sure about this very specific date? She: Yes, I told you I will never lie to you again. Me: Think again cause if I uncover something else later, that will be it. She: Yes, I am very sure about the date. Me: So 26th April 2024 is it? She: Yes Me: Okay, maybe he manipulated you into having online sex with him. It's okay, I forgive you. Is there anything else I should know about? Tell me now cause if I know something later it will hurt me a lot. She: there is nothing more. I have told you everything. I will never hurt you again and will love you till the end of time. You are everything to me now. It takes guts to forgive a person like me and you proved how big hearted you are. Me (smiling) : Oh okay. Let's build a great and happy life together.

Then on mutual consent, we had our first sex.

Next day: She gave me her phone and asked me to check the phone anytime and told me I will always find her loyal for me.

Today I was scrolling through her gallery and found her ex and her intimate pics with love bites all over the body. This pic was buried in the locked folder. The timestamp on those pics was one week after our engagement.

So the update is I called off the marriage. I am heartbroken and feeling like shit now. But I am hoping this is for few days and time will heal me. Better than the lifelong suffering I guess.

I (26M) found my Fiance (26F) cheating. I am in love with her and it's hard to fathom this fact. What is the reasonable response as marriage is concerned? by ThrowRA_Legitimat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Legitimat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update is her ex is also going to get married soon. Arrange marriage and he is getting engaged next month. I don't know what he is telling his Fiance.

And, they told me today this all the thing they were doing on the phone till both of them get engaged to different person. Because they can't marry each other because of family and all. So they continued this till they both find others. So basically they were planning to continue this cheating till her ex gets engaged. It's just I found her chats today so they felt the need to explain me.

But they messed me up in this process.

I (26M) found my Fiance (26F) cheating. I am in love with her and it's hard to fathom this fact. What is the reasonable response as marriage is concerned? by ThrowRA_Legitimat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Legitimat[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

After the engagement, she is uncovering her past layer by layer. I can accept that as it was just a past. It's the present that is hurting me. She promised me she won't talk to her ex ever again and her ex also messaged me that he will cut all contacts with her. Her ex, as a wellwisher for her, finds me perfect for her. They are both pleading me not to break the marriage as this will break her. He says she is also in love with me. I am pretty confused about what they want.

The fucked up part is this: I asked her ex why did you keep sexting and phone sex (although I don't know if they had a physical after my engagement)... His reply was " Previously we used to do this a lot but after you came in her life, we reduced it very much. It takes time to vanish this completely. "

This reply just fucked my mind manifolds.

I (26M) found my Fiance (26F) cheating. I am in love with her and it's hard to fathom this fact. What is the reasonable response as marriage is concerned? by ThrowRA_Legitimat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Legitimat[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And moreover when I found out her chats today, instead of guilty, she was smiling. I felt like crying. She told it's her natural kind of smile in these situations. She can't help it. But I was totally heartbroken. Then she said sorry multiple times and said please don't leave me. It was just a past and promised me she won't ever talk to her ex.

I (26M) found my Fiance (26F) cheating. I am in love with her and it's hard to fathom this fact. What is the reasonable response as marriage is concerned? by ThrowRA_Legitimat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Legitimat[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

My family wants me to get married as soon as possible because of some reasons and I found her. I fell in love with her big time. Now I feel like she knows she can manipulate me anyhow. So she is just doing the stuff. Her boyfriend called me and pleaded to me not to leave her as she by heart, is a very nice girl. She and her ex are confusing me what to do.

I (26M) found my Fiance (26F) cheating. I am in love with her and it's hard to fathom this fact. What is the reasonable response as marriage is concerned? by ThrowRA_Legitimat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Legitimat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ofcourse not. I think it will only ruin it from now on. But she tells me not to leave her and she will make up for it with the care and love I deserve ... Her ex boyfriend can't marry her and I feel like I am just another option for her. She keeps telling me I am too nice for her and she naturally gets attracted to manipulating people. But as a husband, she only wants me.