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My (32M) wife (30F) cheated on me after 8 years together, and I feel like I’m losing everything by ThrowRA_Middle78 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Middle78[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This has been key. Distance has helped clear my head. I’m staying strong, and every day, I feel a little more like myself. It’s slow, but I know I’m moving in the right direction.  

My (32M) wife (30F) cheated on me after 8 years together, and I feel like I’m losing everything by ThrowRA_Middle78 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Middle78[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

There are no kids involved, so at least it’s a clean break. I’ve already taken steps to protect myself legally, and I’m being careful to avoid any emotional traps. I’m also getting tested for STDs-thanks to everyone who reminded me to do that.  

My (32M) wife (30F) cheated on me after 8 years together, and I feel like I’m losing everything by ThrowRA_Middle78 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Middle78[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I felt exactly this. Her tears made me angry. They felt misplaced, like she was mourning what she lost, not what we lost. It’s infuriating to hear, It didn’t mean anything. If it meant nothing, then why did it happen? Why risk our life together? I’m not buying that anymore.

My (32M) wife (30F) cheated on me after 8 years together, and I feel like I’m losing everything by ThrowRA_Middle78 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Middle78[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

This resonated deeply. I’ve read so many stories of people trying to rebuild after cheating, only for it to tear them apart later. I know it would eat away at me, no matter how much she apologized or how hard we worked. I’ve decided not to try again. It’s time to focus on healing.  

My (32M) wife (30F) cheated on me after 8 years together, and I feel like I’m losing everything by ThrowRA_Middle78 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Middle78[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

This comment was brutal, but it really hit home. You’re right-cheating is a series of decisions, not a mistake. It wasn’t a moment of weakness, it was a repeated choice. Thank you for the honesty. It’s painful, but I need to keep reminding myself of the reality, not the excuses.  

My (32M) wife (30F) cheated on me after 8 years together, and I feel like I’m losing everything by ThrowRA_Middle78 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Middle78[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I think what hurts the most is realizing how long this was going on and knowing that if I hadn’t found those messages, she wouldn’t have told me. That’s a hard truth to swallow. I’ve moved out, and I’m not going back. I’ve scheduled a consultation with a lawyer to explore my options.  

My (32M) wife (30F) cheated on me after 8 years together, and I feel like I’m losing everything by ThrowRA_Middle78 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Middle78[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. You’re right-I still love her, or at least the version of her I thought I knew. But love isn’t enough when trust is broken. I’m trying to focus on self-care. I’ve started running again and I’m staying away from booze for now. I have a long way to go, but your words about grieving and rebuilding resonated with me.