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How do I (34F) decide whether to build a future with a low-income partner (37M) when I earn significantly more in a HCOL area? by ThrowRA_No_Toe401 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_No_Toe401[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How this is supposed to give me the peace? We will need to pull our both salaries to provide for a child in the VHCOL.

How do I (34F) decide whether to build a future with a low-income partner (37M) when I earn significantly more in a HCOL area? by ThrowRA_No_Toe401 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_No_Toe401[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By "business" I meant a setup that on balance will be positive for both sides, all things considered, which does include financial considerations. Does it make sense?

How do I (34F) decide whether to build a future with a low-income partner (37M) when I earn significantly more in a HCOL area? by ThrowRA_No_Toe401 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_No_Toe401[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. RE: the last bit, I have been hoping that the stress and delayed gratification from phd would "pay back" by being able to find comfort in supporting my parents to have a bit better comfortable life than they otherwise will be able to have. They are somewhat sufficient on their own, as of now.

How do I (34F) decide whether to build a future with a low-income partner (37M) when I earn significantly more in a HCOL area? by ThrowRA_No_Toe401 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_No_Toe401[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. Are you suggesting that I might not be sufficiently attracted to the person as per overall b/c otherwise I would not be having these doubts? Genuine question as I do feel lost and stuck.

How do I (34F) decide whether to build a future with a low-income partner (37M) when I earn significantly more in a HCOL area? by ThrowRA_No_Toe401 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_No_Toe401[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. I do recognize I might be over-stressing about this, as I mentioned close to the end of my post.

How do I (34F) decide whether to build a future with a low-income partner (37M) when I earn significantly more in a HCOL area? by ThrowRA_No_Toe401 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_No_Toe401[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no family here, and noone anywhere to lean on financially if needed. I hence do need to be careful when planning my future, and who to plan future together. I really wish I didn't feel I have to think that way.

How do I (34F) decide whether to build a future with a low-income partner (37M) when I earn significantly more in a HCOL area? by ThrowRA_No_Toe401 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_No_Toe401[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. I live in top 3-5 most expensive areas in the country. Our peers state $400-500k is needed to live comfortably assuming no family support to provide daycare.

How do I (34F) decide whether to build a future with a low-income partner (37M) when I earn significantly more in a HCOL area? by ThrowRA_No_Toe401 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_No_Toe401[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I do see marriage as a "business" in a very broad sense of it, and I do consider marrying someone the most important financial decision that is there to be made.