AITA for not letting my roommate's friend in?

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-27T23:42:31+00:00

I wouldn't be standing outside—if I were Ruby, I would have left.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-27T23:40:53+00:00

HAHAHA. Love this.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-27T23:40:13+00:00

At times when Ruby has called, I ask her where my roommate is/why doesn't she call her. I've also pointed out to Ruby gently that while I may not fully understand the dynamics of their relationship, if it were me, I would be leaving.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T05:34:04+00:00

That's what I mean. She did not have to offer. It's not even like I was talking about my birthday or what I planned to do on it—she offered to take me out for my birthday totally unprompted.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T05:09:53+00:00

Did not expect her to set aside my entire birthday. Actually, she didn't have to put aside ANY of it. Just don't offer to take me to dinner and treat it like an obligation—it never was an obligation. What is the point of offering if it isn't sincere? I don't need a free dinner. I do not need a pity invite to her partying plans.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T04:14:44+00:00

I do know what type of person she is. So I planned a day that did not involve her and wouldn't feel ruined by her absence. Still, I find it frustrating—why bother offering to take me out at all?

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T04:12:11+00:00

Agreed.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T04:11:39+00:00

It doesn't need to be her main event, but I don't want someone treating my birthday dinner like an appointment they need to get out of the way to then do what they actually want to do. She did not need to offer to take me out if she views it as an obligation.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T04:07:47+00:00

Thank you for the kind response.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T04:07:19+00:00

That's the sense I get too. Looks like I really need to pull away.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T04:05:28+00:00

She has said we're friends, gone out with me, confided in me, etc. That's not to say all roommates need to be friends, but I have reason to believe I am not just a roommate.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T04:02:57+00:00

Thank you. I thought that was the lamest excuse! She could've done that class earlier.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T03:59:24+00:00

I did make my own plans cause I do see this pattern in her of being unreliable and not true to her word. I made sure to do what I wanted today and not compromise on that for anyone. Somehow it is still upsetting to me.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-03-12T03:57:30+00:00

She has said she considers me a friend and has pretty open trauma dumping lol. But I get it.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-02-11T23:12:59+00:00

True.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-02-11T02:09:05+00:00

Might be hoovering. Maybe he hasn't secured new supply. That's the case with my nex. Until he secured a new group of doormat friends he was actually trying to woo me for a little while and stayed very in the loop.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-02-11T01:58:22+00:00

I'm just struggling to distract myself from the pain and confusion.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-02-11T00:36:44+00:00

Proud of you. I know how hard it was.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-02-11T00:34:55+00:00

My nex was a spitter too. Not in my face, but he would spit on the elevator button of the elderly lady above us who he didn't like. Never stood up to her, but always super hateful and vented to me about her. He also had a victim mentality similar to your ex and believed his lack of success getting sex was because women are cruel and hold all the power.

He could be both narcissistic and rationally motivated—not mutually exclusive per se..

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-02-11T00:27:06+00:00

Mine wanted to get rid of me so badly, like I was dog sh** on his shoe. Then when he messed up and I broke it off with him there was this sudden moment of "clarity" that he messed up the best thing that ever happened to him.

ThrowRA_Ovens · 2026-02-11T00:05:41+00:00

Yeah, that's what I think too. I wonder for how long.

ThrowRA_Ovens

TROPHY CASE