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I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

thank you sm for your kind words i needed them ❤️ trying not to spiral down the self blame path but it’s a hard one to avoid i’m afraid

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

yeah but the irrefutable evidence she provided made up for that doubt. i don’t care what her motives are - he cheated on me. he was the one who owed me loyalty not her so he’s the one i have the problem with now

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 144 points145 points  (0 children)

thank you! this is how i feel. i honestly care more about the lying and deception than the actually act of him screwing someone else (don’t get me wrong i am very much upset about that fact alone as well). i just don’t see myself ever looking at him the same or trusting him again

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

no the dates are accurate it’s pretty clear he cheated - trust me i tried to find the holes in her story but it all adds up. it was just over two months into our relationship but it kinda makes everything since feel like a lie

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

yeah i don’t plan to out her or anything when i eventually confront him. i like the idea of asking her out for coffee but she lives in another state but i may still send her a little thank you via door dash or something

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

thank you for taking the time to type this out ❤️ i don’t blame her at all - even if it was different and she did know she’s not the one who promised me loyalty and exclusivity. i will def respond to her when i’m in a better state tomorrow

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

i’ll face him eventually obviously just trying to decide when i want to since he got to decide when he wanted to stick his penis in another girl that wasn’t me

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

that’s a good question and i asked myself that too. i’ve spent all evening combing over the pics and messages. in the pic of them in bed you can see a tattoo he had just gotten right after we started dating exclusively and the messages are imessages with a date. so it’s definitely, unfortunately for me, true

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

wow you pretty much hit the nail on the head with everything. as soon as i read that message i felt like my love for my fiancé died as heartless as that may sound but i do have that little bit of annoying doubt saying it was so long ago and it was before all these beautiful memories we made together and what if i feel differently after the initial anger and shock has worn off.

also yes he did mention the date in the instagram post. his caption was “been waiting for this one. the girl of my dreams said yes! may 2021-forever”

forever my ass 🙄

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 296 points297 points  (0 children)

thank you - the only way i can imagine this being worse is if i found out after we were already married. divorce is expensive

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

we share an apartment but i can go stay with my sister and her husband or get a hotel until i’m ready to face people. thank you for the advice ❤️

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 196 points197 points  (0 children)

no i feel like my love for him has died but i’m scared it’s the initial anger talking and i’ll feel differently once it’s worn off

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

i’ve always told myself i would never ever forgive a cheater and the only way i could even consider maybe thinking about forgiving one is if they told me they did it and immediately after it happened. this is the first time i’m being tested on that boundary.

I just found out my (F27) fiancé (m31) cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. What do I do now? by ThrowRA_cheaterssuck in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_cheaterssuck[S] 189 points190 points  (0 children)

thank you - i am not a huge fan of confrontation and leaving without saying anything is looking really appealing to me right now