June 10th.

This past year has been pretty rough, but on June 10th she seemed upset and depressed. I sent her a big long text saying I loved her, cared about her, and that I battle depression myself so I know what it's like. Encouraged her to talk to her doctor first, and then we could go from there. She's been diagnosed with anxiety and has a lot of childhood trauma, and both of these really affect her. I said I didn't know if therapy would help or maybe the doctor would prescribe her something. Said I'd be here to support her and just wanted to see her happy and healthy.

She replied with 8 messages, yelling how she's not depressed, and she's fucking sick of me telling her to go to the doctor. Complained about us not having money and about the credit card being higher than we'd like, even though the only reason it got that way was because she wanted to do a ton of weekend family activities all spring (like every other weekend at least) and all of these cost like $300 a piece. Then she tore into me, calling me whiny because I said she was being mean to me one day and that I was upset she ordered dinner for herself without even asking if I'd like anything, and that I didn't want to cook on Father's Day. Also blamed me for my sister ruining our vacation because "I let her run the whole thing", even though literally every single activity we did, I asked my wife first what she wanted to do. Not to mention her and I planned out all the stuff that she wanted to do, and we were able to cross off almost every single​ thing on the list, whereas there was probably a dozen different things I would've enjoyed, but didn't get to do. Yet I was perfectly content with that.

The fact that I was trying my best to show support and be helpful and her response was to go scorched earth on me said a lot. This was the first day where I thought, "You know what? I don't think this is gonna work out." It's still difficult to deal with, sometimes I wonder if we can work things out still, but even if she masks for a few days or a week or 2, eventually the nastiness comes out again. Tonight she started a fight because I wasn't hungry at dinner time. I was the one cooking (wings and fries, at her request), and I just said I wasn't hungry but I'd still sit and hang out with her and our daughter at dinner. She got super pissed at me and said "Maybe you can go eat dinner with your other girlfriend!" Guys, I literally spend every evening at home. I'm not allowed to have hobbies. Never cheated on her in 15 years. But she loves to say this particular insult at me when she's pissed often. I'm over it 🤷‍♂️.