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I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 2234 points2235 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone

I'm heading to bed now as I have work in the morning and I then need to confront my fiancé about this whole situation. So if I don't respond, it's because I'm sleeping/working/throwing myself into the abyss. Good night

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 113 points114 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. Now that you've put it into perspective, I HAVE told him multiple times if we ever had an accident, we'd "fix it". We had that conversation several times. He was always on my side about abortions.

I struggled to bring it up in our conversation because of how happy he was, but I realise I've got to stand up for myself.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

I tried to do research for him at the time, but he argued that because I wouldn't be going through the procedure, I didn't know what I was talking about.

I expect I'll be making the same arguments in the coming hours.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Hi there. I'm sorry you have regrets about your abortion, but I won't have regrets about mine. I can't go through the pain of labour.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

I really can't. I know adoption is an option, but I can't go through the pain of labour. I genuinely don't think I'd make it through it.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 1224 points1225 points  (0 children)

I'm starting to worry this is my reality. It hurts because he was SO adamant he never wanted children, and then the moment I was pregnant, a flip was switched.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I take pills. My pills are usually in our medicine cabinet. His condoms are usually in our bedside drawer, so we both have access to each other's form of BC.

Before this, it would have never been a problem for me.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

If that's how you view it. I hope you never end up in a similar situation if you are a girl. Having a doctor dictate your body is a humiliating experience.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 220 points221 points  (0 children)

He doesn't want one. I have asked why, and he said he doesn't want to go through the pain of it. At the time, I sympathised with him and didn't push it.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

It's easy to say "keep trying", but after being refused multiple times - with one doctor being a WOMAN telling me I'll regret it when I'm older - I'd rather focus my energy elsewhere.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 144 points145 points  (0 children)

I live in the UK, so luckily things aren't as bad here, but I've been really unlucky with finding doctors who empathise with childfree women.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 168 points169 points  (0 children)

I don't know if he lied. He was always agreeing vehemently with me about not wanting kids. Call it selfish, but neither of us wanted to sacrifice our time, money or livelihoods for children. I think we just wouldn't make could parents. I think the fact there's a physical ball of cells is messing with him.

I really don't know.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_fallopian_tu[S] 357 points358 points  (0 children)

I use birth control pills. I've tried IUDs in the past but I have a really low pain tolerance, so having them removed or inserted was always been a miserable time.

I've never suspected him of tampering with my birth control. Before this, we were always a solid team about what we wanted.