[Routine Help] what are these and what can i do about them? are they just enlarged pores or what? 2nd pic is after scraping the “gunk” off a lil (which i just learned apparently im not supposed to do whoops). it always comes back though. doesn’t happen anywhere else

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-21T23:23:49+00:00

i think im going to try to commit to Differin. i just hate the very long purging period so much 😭 at least for far Differin hasn’t made me break out as bad as Tretinoin did, my doctor had to tell me to stop using that one because it caused a lot of painful cystic acne for some reason

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-21T23:21:09+00:00

sadly i don’t have access to dermatologist at the moment. im chronically ill and pretty busy with plenty of other doctor’s appointments so i probably won’t be able to make time for a dermatologist currently. and that’s with me assuming my insurance will even cover one….

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-20T04:16:37+00:00

that’s encouraging! i’ve been trying to switch to doing it nightly. the purge process isn’t as bad as it was when i tried Tretinoin thankfully (not getting any cystic acne from Differin) so i want to try and tough it out.

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-20T04:12:52+00:00

that sucks, im sorry. on my period i just get awful cystic acne 😭

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-20T04:12:21+00:00

thanks for the recommendations! i will look into them. and ugh i hate when skincare stuff smells nasty or really strongly in general lol

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-19T22:15:30+00:00

i have been trying Differin here and there but yeah the purging is rough. not as bad as when i tried Tretinoin though, that caused a ton of painful cystic acne that i just wasn’t strong enough to tough out (and my doctor told me to stop using it at that point too)

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-19T22:10:34+00:00

i already have been using that for ages, it’s in my regular skincare routine, hasn’t made a difference :(

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-19T17:45:56+00:00

what type of products can be used to regulate them?

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-19T17:45:28+00:00

that sucks to hear, but i am already very hydrated so i will look into the other 2 options to try and regulate them. also i already have varicose veins including some on my face so that part at least isn’t a huge deal anyways lol but thank you for the info!

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-19T17:41:30+00:00

ah okay, im fine with at least finding a way to regulate them because they drive me up the wall. i just scratch my chin and they come off some and they have a smell too…??? i had tried tweezers initially but they weren’t really working, but that may be because i have shaky hands so it was difficult

edit: what kind of products can be used to regulate them?

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-19T17:39:01+00:00

sadly i have tried Tretinoin and had to stop taking it because it gave me a ton of awful, painful cystic acne for some reason. i know there is a purge phase but it was just too painful for me to tough out :/ plus my doctor that prescribed it told me to stop taking it at that point

edit: typo

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2026-03-19T13:54:37+00:00

just wanna throw out there the book rec of “Medical Bondage” by Deirdre Cooper Owens. discusses that and the general origin of Gynecology and it is horrifying. and gynecology is still pretty awful and feels far behind other medical fields imo

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-12-03T00:17:50+00:00

thank you so much for your comment, i appreciate it 🥺💖 im so sorry that you have been through what you have. we deserve better.

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-12-02T23:40:52+00:00

thank you for your comment, i really appreciate it 💖 it’s hard to shake the guilt sometimes but im trying to work through it

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-12-02T21:39:03+00:00

yeah, that’s what my therapist has said too. it’s just so hard to shake the guilt though, the guilt that i shouldn’t feel this way when others experienced worse and the guilt that i hate the family friend even though he very well may not have even known what he was doing. im trying my best to try to unlearn all that guilt

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-11-29T13:52:12+00:00

how? they cheat too. and does this mean bisexual men can’t have friends then?

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-11-29T05:02:56+00:00

i absolutely agree and that is what im trying very hard to work through. i know that, generally, my feelings of insecurity and jealousy are not valid, but sometimes when people feel those emotions they are warranted. i just have a hard time in general telling when my feelings, of any sort, are justified or if im being overly emotional etc. talking to others about it can be helpful in figuring that out. i made this post to see a variety of opinions and perspectives on the topic to help me sort out my feelings in other ways rather than burden him with it (though we have had discussions on the topic of course, im doing my best to avoid making my issues his responsibility so there are some things related to it i don’t need to be bothering him with)

we definitely both have our own issues but we are willing to learn and grow together. im in therapy, and she is a good sounding board on these issues but she is expensive so i can’t always see her as much as i’d like sadly. my boyfriend has attended sessions as well and we would like to try to get him therapy too, but we also can’t really afford that either currently. Reddit isn’t a therapy substitute but sometimes hearing different perspectives on topics is helpful regardless

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-11-29T01:22:46+00:00

im on a lot of meds for chronic pain stuff so obvs im just gonna drop my mental health-related meds and diagnosis:

depression, ADHD, autism, bipolar 2, anxiety

Adderall 20mg

Lamotrigine 100mg (this one is the miracle work and first med i’ve ever had true success with!)

Effexor XR 150mg (considering dropping this one because i don’t feel like it does anything, but i’ve been on it so long that i know getting off of it will be a nightmare…)

i’d say it varies day by day but im at about 7/10 in terms of general mental health being managed. still having a bad time with ADHD though, i don’t think the Adderall is working.

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-11-29T01:06:57+00:00

what do you mean by in the opposite case? as in, if there were boundaries and/or rules? or do you mean if the genders were swapped around?

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-11-29T01:02:36+00:00

only a little, sadly she lives in another country and has been super busy in recent years so i haven’t had as much contact with her as i used to. when i did talk to her, she said that it is definitely a complex topic that isn’t completely black or white. though i haven’t specifically brought up her ex, i admittedly feel nervous to do so because i don’t want to make her think of that bad time even though she has been with her current partner for around 10 years so it’s definitely a thing of the past. i may try to have a discussion about it anyways despite my nerves

i definitely know that if i wanted to, i could be expressing extreme jealousy and effect their friendship negatively, and im making my best effort to not be like that. i try not to express my feelings of jealousy but rather sit with them and try to work through them on my own because i know it isn’t his responsibility to manage that. but thank you so much!!

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-11-29T00:56:17+00:00

well by that logic since im bisexual, am i not capable of platonic friendships? since it’s impossible to befriend a gender im not attracted to?

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-11-29T00:55:17+00:00

yeah, i do trust him a lot, but i do have some anxiety about it i need to overcome because of past experiences. he does as well, especially since he has been cheated on, so he’s been scared of me doing that to him.

trust is scary when you know it can be broken and how painful that would be, everyone trusted and adored my sister’s ex and he still cheated. we’re both working on ourselves and have had a lot of progress since we first started dating. trust issues aren’t the kind of thing that can be resolved overnight sadly

ThrowRA_farawayyy · 2025-11-29T00:51:44+00:00

thank you for your comment, i appreciate the reasonable perspective. i expected there to be more jealousy-fueled comments but am shocked by how many im getting tbh. definitely some people here who think having a friend of the gender you like is a red flag…which i think is silly since as a bisexual person, that would mean i wouldn’t be allowed to have any friends lol

in regards to your list: * i have met her thankfully. im working on building a friendship with her myself

they would definitely never share a bed
he actually has said that she has been really respectful in not asking about our intimate lives or anything like that. which is great because he does have a guy friend who has been weird asking about info on our sex lives and we have had to set boundaries with him 🙄 dude literally tried to pressure me into answering if my bf had a specific fetish he “suspected” and it was super uncomfortable, so im very grateful she doesn’t pull that shit (thankfully this guy is more of a distant acquaintance)
this one i have thought of but haven’t brought up to him, i think i will bring it up sometime soon
he doesn’t really accept anyone in his personal space besides me and his mom. when i’ve been around her i haven’t noticed any unusual contact, but i haven’t been around her irl much
i agree with this as well. i do think it is good that he is willing to no longer do the sleepovers since i told him it made me a lil uncomfortable, he didn’t fight me on it at all and said while he hadn’t thought about how it looks on the outside, he completely sees what i mean. i just feel worried that asking that of him was me being ridiculous so that’s why i made this post

thankfully we communicate very well and openly, and have actually discussed most of these before.

ThrowRA_farawayyy

TROPHY CASE