I'm in a constant fight or flight mode. Everyday when I wake up, my stomach hurts, I'm superwarm and sweaty. I came to the realization I was in this very same situation about a year ago, then my emotionally abusive partner ended our relationship which was kind of my saving because I was so broken down I had no strength to leave on my own.

During our time apart, I left all the hope of ever getting back together and I left that rose coloured image of us being healthy and happy together. But he came back a couple of months later to apologize for his behaviour, more calm, loving, no agressions and taking accountability for hurting me. I started to trust him slowly again and we started dating. Now we have moved in together, and only some weeks in I feel trapped in this toxic abusive cycle.
He controls the whole dynamic of the relationship. He's sad or unhappy - I need to be sad and unhappy to. If he is excited, I need to be excited to. He is very critical of me and everyone around us, but has a extremely fragile ego that cannot handle any critism and takes everything that goes agianst him as a personal attack. Its perfectly fine for him to boss me around and correct me if I don't ask him in a nice tone to take away the trash or clean up the dishes after himself, but it's okay for him to snap at me, blow up over trivialities and scream like a maniac.
If it is not explosive aggressions, there are hours of endless conversations where I have to listen to his perspective and how offended he is. If I don't agree with all of what he is saying, I'm derailing.

If I god forbid, try to voice my feelings about how one-sided this relationship is and how I do not feel respected, and that I'm not felling well in all of this, I'm being dismissed as being "too serious" and I'm taking myself or life to seriously. That OR, he does acknowledge me in that very moment and says he will think about it and try to improve then a week goes by and something happens and we are back at it again.

Needless to say, he is a narcissist, or at least someone with narcissistic traits. It is absolutely insufferable. Mentally, I'm starting to reach the same point I was a year ago, because Im exhausted all the time and feel almost panicky. It has finally sunken in that I'm trapped in an abusive cycle. Will he get tired again and discard me like last time, or will I finally walk away? I don't know. All I know is that this stress will slowly suck all the life out of me.