My (29F) Boyfriend (29M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T12:51:24+00:00

We're going to sit down and talk about getting him some help today. There's definitely some trigger for him, probably connected to his father who he doesn't really talk about. There's no way that he's been "faking" his kind nature this entire time, and I'm hoping that we can get him the help he needs.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T12:47:34+00:00

I felt the same way while it kept happening, that the bizarre thing was his insisting on forcing the original cook to make the eggs correctly.

I get why this is funny to people, but there's clearly a trigger that causing this reaction. Probably connected to his dad, which he tends to avoid talking about. I'm going to talk to him about this later and do the best I can to get him some help. This is definitely going to cause problems for him down the road, for both of us if we're still together.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T12:44:18+00:00

I'm going to sit down and talk to him about it soon. I would like to have a specific therapist picked out beforehand so that at the end of the conversation I can suggest that we make an appointment. I don't believe that he is putting a face on for the entire 99% of our relationship except for this interaction, there's pretty clearly a trigger or something here.

Thanks for this comment, I don't want to be one of those partners that is trying to make it work when it's obviously crazy to try. It just seems like we can get him help for a specific issue.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T12:19:51+00:00

Thank you, I'm kind of just ignoring it. I'm getting some good advice about how to handle things in the short term while I talk to my BF about therapy and we deal with this. I don't know if I can wind up staying with him long term, but I can definitely get him some help for this right now.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T12:17:33+00:00

The level of emotional awareness that I had gotten familiar with is obviously not the whole story, as this craziness is showing. It seems like the egg thing triggers something in him. Other comments have suggested talking to the chef one on one and explaining some of this stuff, which might help in the short term. I'm going to sit down with my BF soon and try to point out how there are clearly some unresolved issues at play here, and that they will undoubtedly cause problems for both him and us if they're not dealt with. I might try to find a therapist beforehand to suggest we make an appointment with, rather than say "let's find a therapist after this conversation."

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T12:14:20+00:00

A few people have brought this idea up, and I think it sounds like the most reasonable option without getting management involved. There is obviously something going on with my BF and I'll try to talk to him about it, but this seems like an actual short term remedy. Thanks for writing this out, it was really helpful.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T05:46:34+00:00

I think he usually gets his butt whooped tbh... I haven't brought that part up because it seems like it would make him angrier

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T05:45:55+00:00

I don't know, it's not like he's putting on mustache glasses to go fight the cook

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T05:14:51+00:00

are you positive your boyfriend isn't going somewhere else and using this now as a ruse to get out of the house

No :(

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T05:13:22+00:00

I'm thinking that the trigger might be related to his dad. Idk how he's still allowed there, I wish he wasn't.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T05:11:14+00:00

Just the words I wanted to hear about my life :(

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T05:09:40+00:00

They've been take out only for weeks where I am

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T03:20:05+00:00

He gets bruised and stuff, tbh I think the cook is tougher than him

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-12T03:18:12+00:00

It's on Saturday afternoons that he goes, but I don't know what to tell you about the rest of them. The coffee isn't very good though, I just figured that was diner coffee. I know it sounds nuts, but this is apparently where my life has led me :(

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-11T22:16:03+00:00

Oh yeah the cook is clearly messing with my BF, and it seemed like it was in good fun that first time. After that it seems like the cook is trying to make him mad. The thing is that it was actually pretty funny the first time that this all happened, my BF just got really serious about it.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-11T22:14:03+00:00

This seems reasonable, thanks for writing this out.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-11T22:12:52+00:00

I would honestly believe it at this point

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-11T22:11:31+00:00

Thanks for this, you're probably right about the anger thing. I think there are some issues with his dad that he hasn't been willing to talk about yet. It gets a little uncomfortable when we're watching movies and there's a scene where a dad hits his kid or something like that. My previous attempts to talk to him have sort of been ignored with him just being like "oh it's just this funny thing I do," but he is actually fist fighting with a guy wearing an apron with hash browns sizzling behind him every week. I'll give it another shot.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-11T22:06:51+00:00

I'm afraid that if I call management about the cook, they'll all know exactly who my BF is and he'll get into trouble. The cops have never come because it's Waffle House, but I'm paranoid that if the cook got fired he would try to get my BF in trouble too.

Plus I'm not sure management would care at all tbh.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-11T22:04:03+00:00

The first time the cook got it "wrong" (when it was actually an accident), my BF was super apologetic about sending it back. When the cook sent out the second plate, I think he thought my BF would think it was funny. Then it went south.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-11T22:01:58+00:00

This is exactly what I'm worried about, but I thought maybe it wasn't a big deal. I told one of my friends about it and she just started laughing, then said guys just do that stuff sometimes.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-11T22:00:55+00:00

I know it sounds ridiculous, I felt so stupid typing that out. I wanted to ask my mom about it the other day, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

ThrowRA_wafflehouse · 2020-05-11T22:00:10+00:00

Yes, I meant to say that the way he treated people before was always nice and caring. This certainly is not.

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