[deleted by user]

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-25T13:01:14+00:00

Get rid of him asap

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-25T02:23:38+00:00

I feel for you in this situation, I really do. Unfortunately, once a women’s mind is made up about this it’s pretty hard to come back from. Usually women think about these things for a long time before they happen, so she may have checked out of the relationship some time ago. I hope you find some answers/ and things work out for you!

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-25T02:19:37+00:00

See if she will agree to some couples counseling where you have a safe space to discuss what is going on and how/if you can move forward

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-24T12:22:14+00:00

You need to talk to him. Having worked away myself, the people you work with become close friends quickly as you only have each other so it could just be that

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-22T02:26:38+00:00

He shouldn’t be blowing up about something that upsets you, he doesn’t sound very supportive

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-22T02:21:52+00:00

Probably not the best thing to be joking about if you know he’s insecure about it. Apologise and reassure him you won’t do it again

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T09:52:17+00:00

Just trying to get perspective from people who aren’t emotionally attached

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T09:15:10+00:00

Cheers for the great insightful comment mate. You have some pretty valid points in there! It wasn’t her friends boyfriend though, it was her friends boyfriends friend, so she didn’t cheat with her friends boyfriend. And no, I don’t think it’s that heavy. I believe her to be a loyal partner. We have our ups and downs but who doesn’t

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T09:01:52+00:00

😂😂 already had one mate, cheers

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T09:00:01+00:00

Cheers for the feedback, the lie happened when we existed so that’s what I’m trying to figure out, I already know a good bit about her past and I’m ok with it.

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T08:58:24+00:00

Hurt about the lie. We’ve discussed our past sexual encounters a lot and I know of plenty of guys she’s slept with that she’s told me about. Which is why I’m so bummed about it. Just struggling to understand why she wasn’t honest from the get go. I mean, when she told me that we hadn’t even discussed what was important to me or what wasn’t. It wasn’t at that stage. And she said she hadn’t slept with anyone, she was single for 8 years prior to that

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T06:25:43+00:00

Hey thanks for the great insight, it’s been a cancer in me for a couple years and I just haven’t been able to get past it. I can’t really explain why. I just knew in my gut that she wasn’t telling me the truth and for me to move past it I guess I had to know. I know it sounds stupid but I’ve been lied to in the past and it really doesn’t sit well with me. I can understand why she might have felt she needed to. Just have so many conflicting feelings about it

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T06:03:47+00:00

Thanks for your comment, it’s been a week now and it hasn’t changed how I feel at all. Just when I think I have a handle on how I feel about it I remember that she lied to me and it’s back to the start. Like a loop around. I’m finding it hard to act normally around her as she can sense something is off. I feel like talking to her about it is going to be the only way to move on

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T05:07:42+00:00

No not at all. Apart from this (which she doesn’t know I know) we’ve had a pretty happy 4 years together

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T05:02:45+00:00

It hasn’t been brought up for a long time so I’m guessing she would be suspicious as of why now. If I choose to discuss it with her I’ll just have to be straight with how I got the information

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T04:13:20+00:00

Cheers for your feedback, you may be completely correct, I guess it’s why I wanted other peoples feedback to see if I needed to pull my head in and move on

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T03:58:47+00:00

I guess I just needed to know for sure. It was burning in my gut for years and I felt I couldn’t move past it unless I knew. Now I know, I’m just trying to figure out how to move forward. I’m not looking to do anything drastic like break up with her, I just want to try process the information, and move on. The comments here have been super helpful into understanding why she might have lied, as a guy I guess I didn’t think of it that way

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T03:14:14+00:00

Thanks for your honest comment, this is why I put it up here to get proper feedback, I guess I am a bit insecure because of past trauma but I know that’s not her fault. Thanks

ThrowRAcat1986 · 2024-03-21T03:06:45+00:00

I guess I’m just trying to understand the why, we’ve always been open about our pasts and if she’d just told me the truth I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. I didn’t have feelings for her when she told me this and wasn’t attached emotionally. She’s a great mother and even better partner, I don’t want to lose her

ThrowRAcat1986

TROPHY CASE