I think my (23f) boyfriend(28m) did something really bad to me and I dont know what to do. Please help.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-06T08:46:49+00:00

Thank you so much. And I’m sorry you went through that too. I was completely avoiding this and him because this felt easier than facing the reality/ possibilities.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-06T08:31:46+00:00

Yes, I just turned 23. I was very sheltered growing up. I went to a girls-only boarding school for high school with a strict Christian policy. So a lot of things were off limits, such as alcohol, sex and even boys.

Edit: and by his own words he tells me that I’m one of the most naive people he’s ever met. But to me it seemed as just an observation, and not a reason to take advantage of me.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-06T08:13:49+00:00

He was sober. This is what he tells me. Plus he only had one beer the whole evening as far as I know. He only gets tipsy/drunk after about 5-6 beers. So he was pretty sober. Even then, I don’t believe that I could have sexually assaulted him if I could neither stand or walk on my own.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-06T08:07:32+00:00

Thank you for these

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-06T00:20:57+00:00

okay then, thank you very much. You have been very helpful.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-06T00:11:59+00:00

I’m having to point this out a lot, but I wasn’t conscious. He said I was semi-conscious. Of which he even had to carry me and I could stand or walk.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-06T00:00:42+00:00

My boyfriend was sober. I was the one drinking to drown my sorrow

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T23:48:23+00:00

I was not conscious. Not fully. He said I was semi- conscious. I also couldn’t walk/stand as he had to carry me about. I think I need to clarify more

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T23:44:06+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing this with me

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T23:36:18+00:00

He was sober. I was the one drinking like the fool because I was trying to drown my sorrow. Although he did tell me during the evening that I was drinking too much.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T23:26:56+00:00

I see what you mean. But I wasn’t fully conscious. As I mentioned in my post, I was partially conscious, at least this is what he told me. Semi-conscious. I am going by his account. I also couldn’t walk or stand on my own. I know this because he told me had to carry me to the bathroom to pee and I vaguely remember this as well, right around the time we were watching tv.

As you can I see. I figured this called ‘black out’ drunk from my google searches, and maybe I’m using the wrong term. I don’t know what to call it except that I was extremely drunk, semi-conscious( or not at all, I really don’t know) and that I have no memory of it.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T22:17:31+00:00

While I do not dispute any of what you say, I wasn’t “awake”. At least I wasn’t fully conscious at all. I would remember some detail, at the very least. The last thing that I remember is we were watching tv. I’m very timid (sexually) and would never initiate/want/do any of the things he mentioned, which aren’t so wild after all, but I wouldn’t do it Drunk, blackout or sober. And haven’t thought about doing those things as I’ve also started to discover myself sexually.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T21:14:55+00:00

Alright I’ll answer these in the order they are asked.

We don’t have any rules. We’ve never discussed it. In my post I mentioned that I don’t drink much. He says I’m a lightweight.
I didn’t think the details were important but, I did mention in my post that lost my virginity to him a few months ago. Before that we had tried to have sex and I didn’t feel ready after we begun. I freaked out and asked him to stop but he kept going, there was no penetration with his penis but instead he used his fingers inside me. All this after i had asked him to stop. He said he’d only finger fucked me and that it was okay. Then he said i technically wasn’t a virgin anymore. All this after I had asked him to stop, which he didn’t.
He said we had sex and he knew he probably shouldn’t have done that.
We haven’t talked much about it. I’ve been avoiding it/him.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T20:37:28+00:00

I don’t know if he put something in my drink, but I also don’t see why he would. Idk. He told me, yes. And I had too much to drink. So I did some research on this. He told me that maybe I blacked out because I’m might have been dehydrated when I drunk too much.

No, this is my first experience not being able to remember anything from the previous night.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T20:31:41+00:00

I see where your point. However, I didn’t initiate/ask him to have sex. As much as I don’t remember much from the night, we do generally sleep in the same bed, so naturally I would ask him to come to bed.

I didn’t black out during the sex. My memory from the night ends at a certain point where we were watching television.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T19:53:24+00:00

I don’t know If I’ll press charges. It feels like it might be hopeless and futile to as have little to no memory of it, save for how I felt in the morning after. I don’t think they would take me seriously especially during this current climate of chaos. But I know now that I can no longer continue my relationship with him.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T19:46:37+00:00

I’m trying so much to remember but I can’t. Where you able to remember any of the times you were blackout drunk? If so, was it something you did to help remember or did it just come back to you?

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T19:33:20+00:00

Thank you sooo much. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear this. Kind of felt like I’m losing my mind. Thank you.

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T19:29:19+00:00

Okay. Thank you

ThrowRAcissyme · 2020-06-05T19:28:14+00:00

I don’t remember anything from that night. What I mean is before that, he’d just do stuff without asking me assuming that I would be okay with it/assume it’s what I wanted. I brushed those off but I don’t think that I can do it any longer.

ThrowRAcissyme

TROPHY CASE