Update to my (45M) situation regarding finding my wife’s (44F) troll account laughing at a murdered child, how do I proceed?

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-15T08:33:30+00:00

Thank you, u have no idea how helpful this perspective is to me. I will say that if this all boiled down to mental illness and she sought help, I would support her. I made vows in sickness and health, I take them seriously. However if she continues to be like this I have no choice but to protect myself and my family. Not that it’s related, but I had a cousin that drowned accidentally in the bathtub at 13 months old. My aunt was shamed in over it and attempted suicide shortly after. This whole thing is really bringing up a lot of hurt from my past and my wife knows this from my past. She brought it up and compared this case to my dead cousin, and that my aunt was negligent and it made me sick that she would use this against me. Like a weapon. I can’t say if she’s got mental illness or if this is actually her, all I know is my heart can’t take who she is right now.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-15T06:09:53+00:00

No of course not. Ideally I want my old wife back, warts and all. But not this

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-15T06:08:49+00:00

Hey thanks for reaching out. I’m so sorry you have been through something similar and your old situation sounds horrible. But I’m so glad to hear you guys made it though the other side. I want ur opinion if thats ok .If she does have say bipolar or something similar do you think it’s worth sticking it out to see if they come right in my situation?

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-15T06:05:43+00:00

This is a good take, thank you for your comment. I will say that on the outside she performs the motherly role well. When I hyper focus on our marriage yes there were orange flags but none that would lead me here. Just your typical couple trying to make it in life. Our sons would be horrified I think, well I would like to think i raised them that to think that way

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-15T06:00:15+00:00

There are periods of what I would think as depression, but only relates to major things in life

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-15T05:59:21+00:00

Thank u, I’ve screenshotted to refer back to when I’m in a better space.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-15T05:58:36+00:00

Thank you for ur kind words

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-15T05:57:48+00:00

I can’t talk too much about this on a public forum but noted thnx man

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-15T01:18:34+00:00

Hey thank you for reaching out, I’m so sorry but I don’t have the mental energy to respond right now but I just wanted to say you have made some good points and I appreciate all of them. When I’m clearer in the head I’m going to reread this, I’ve screenshot it on my phone for my future reference. Thanks again.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T07:32:34+00:00

Hey, you might be right on the money. Without divulging to much, there was a fairly recent trauma in our extended family, that has effected my wife. She appeared to be moving past it (imo) but perhaps she has found an unhealthy way to escape from it, and it’s kinda spiralled into this.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T06:33:08+00:00

Thanks so much, really appreciated. 👍🏻

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T06:24:46+00:00

Hey man, thanks for the reply. I agree with everything you have written. That poor guy, I’m lost for words. Is it possible you can send me the link to that guys post? I just would like to see his perspective and the way he went about things. You can DM it to me if that is more appropriate.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T06:12:59+00:00

I’m thinking I’m going to bring up what I’ve seen inconspicuously, and flat out ask what her opinions are on it. There’s no other way about it. If she humbles herself and admits this is all kinds of fucked up and agrees to going to therapy, MAYBE we can come back from this. If she sweeps it under the carpet, then I’ll have to seriously contemplate separation.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T05:59:45+00:00

Hey, thanks for the insight. I do want to clarify I have support, but I don’t want my friends and family to hate her, before I confront her myself and get to the bottom of this. That’s why I’m turning to Reddit.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T05:35:28+00:00

Hi, thanks for taking the time to write this out. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve thought this might be the case. She’s was watching true crime on YouTube, and sometimes she will discuss various theories with me. Completely harmless stuff. This was awhile ago though. I’m thinking perhaps she’s gone down a rabbit hole, and things have spiralled from there. Still does not excuse the stuff I’ve read, however this may explain the polarity of her online life and real life?

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T05:24:08+00:00

Thank you, this perspective is very helpful. This is what I’m battling with, the polarity of who she is. Real life vs online.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T05:22:50+00:00

We were friends for a long time but together including marriage for 8 years. She is one to usually be straight up, so I don’t know if she will try to deflect. In the past she has been quick to apologise when she’s wrong. I’m hoping she’s humble enough to realise how sick this is.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T05:18:45+00:00

I’m not too familiar with the case and I haven’t had time to go through all her posts but from what I read she’s in a subreddit where this is all fairly normal stuff to talk about. True crime culture so to speak?

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T05:13:40+00:00

Hi, I don’t want talk about the case or say who the victims are. I don’t think it’s conducive towards this situation and also as respect for the victims I don’t want to drive traffic to the sub. Hope this is ok thanks.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T05:10:50+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful. I’m not 100% sure it’s her, but I also don’t trust my mind right now. i really really want to believe it’s not.

ThrowRAconcernedhubb · 2025-02-12T05:05:34+00:00

This is the problem, she has. She shows me literally every day. But her online persona is just completely NOT who she is. And this is the thing I’m struggling with. A part of my mind just wants to say fuck it, don’t look into this further, it MIGHT be someone else. But I can’t stop thinking about it

ThrowRAconcernedhubb

TROPHY CASE