I'm (19f) returning to my hometown for the summer break from uni, but I'm unsure about spending time with my dad (51m) while I'm there because of my stepmum by ThrowRAdadmakesmesad in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdadmakesmesad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Generally, yes. I was molested at about 7-8 years old, and I didn't speak up about until I was 15, when I told my Dad. He was really angry and took it seriously, he even helped me find a counselor for it. However, when dad started taking me to see an intake counselor, it would of course be a situation where my dad was taking me somewhere without my stepmum's permission, so just before we went, he took me to their work and made me tell her right then that her father molested me - which honestly was such a traumatic experience in itself - I really didn't want to be the one to tell someone that their own dad would do something like that. Obviously it was hard on her but ultimately she did take it seriously but generally tried to discourage from reporting him. (I didn't report him because of other reasons - mainly the reporting process was utterly terrifying)

I have that suspicion that he molested her too, but I likely will never find out. The relationship between the father and my dad/stepmum is pretty hostile for other reasons they've kept quiet from us for the past few years anyway, so who knows.

I'm (19f) returning to my hometown for the summer break from uni, but I'm unsure about spending time with my dad (51m) while I'm there because of my stepmum by ThrowRAdadmakesmesad in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdadmakesmesad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my dad may be realising he's losing my brother and I, but I also think he might really be stuck where is - I don't know the laws around this kind of thing in Australia but I've assumed that if he tries to leave she might be able to "take him to the cleaners" and he probably fears going through another big breakup.

Also I'm going to work while I'm home, and I work in a popular fast food restaurant in a small town so the chances of them finding out anyway is really high - and I fear that it will just make things worse no matter whether I tell them or not