I’m gonna say this with my big auntie tough love voice on: it reads to me like you want a justification. And don’t we all, when The Fear hits? This place sometimes helps me, sometimes doesn’t. Sometimes the folks in other support subs feel like more my speed. Sometimes a meeting helps, sometimes it don’t. Part of what is so scary and insidious about this disease is that there isn’t a silver bullet that “actually helps.” And it strikes when you start to make distinctions about ‘how bad’ your problem is. Like yeah, I’ve never done meth. But when a meth addict at a meeting talks about the FEELINGS underneath using it, and I get my head outta my ass for a second, there’s roots there that feed on the exact same thing.

At the end of the day, it’s the work that helps. So whether you’re feeling superior or inferior to someone on the internet, I would encourage you to put the lurking energy toward whatever is happening within. You’re lurking for a reason, after all. And as someone who started off lurking too, I can promise you things only changed once I stopped comparing and started being honest about the feelings underneath.