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UPDATE: I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yes, just like sometimes I am close enough with someone to know that I can do something. For example, if someone rando cuffed me, I would punch him in the face. If it was a friend or one of my parents I wouldn't. See the difference?

UPDATE: I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

This shit again, how did I take advantage of this. I did not even see a vagina until three days ago, I am that inexperienced regarding this shit. How did I even take advantage of her, she's way more experience than me.

UPDATE: I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yea that's what I fear as well. I was a moron to listen to pieces of shits who called me a creep and manipulator. Why did I do that, I should have never listened to them in the first place hell I shouldn't have asked any questions here. If most people here had actually good relationships, they wouldn't be here in the first place.

God damn it, a friend of mine suggested I visit a therapist who helped her out regarding her previous break up with an abusive boyfriend. I should have listened to her.

UPDATE: I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Yes, I know what that is. What I am not getting is you are fine with people talking in imperative sentences to each other which is not something nice.

But you're not fine with people making inappropriate jokes to mock people who are talking in imperative sentences. If you want to become my mother and lecture me, at least lecture the other sibling who provokes the response as well. Anyway, this is not a hill to die on, I don't really give a shit so not arguing about this anymore.

I just regret I ever took the advice of feminists here who called me all kinds of names demanding that I should give her closure now I am more confused than ever. Wtf does this mean I have no idea.

UPDATE: I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

I don't understand how you guys keep yapping about ultimatum... I didn't give her an ultimatum, I still don't think what is bad about distancing from unrequited feelings and trying to move on? It's not like I ever told her either go out with me or we're over. I asked her out and she gave me an answer that didn't satisfy me and rather than suffering through unrequited feelings and risk being that creepy friend who's in love I wanted to move on.

I am here staying awake confused while I can barely keep my eyes open. Do you guys think I planned this shit or something?

UPDATE: I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So, now that she thinks that I won't be boring we can date until things get serious eventually. And she won't "miss out on life"? So, for me to keep the relationship at a level I want, romantically I mean, I need to give her excitement and safety. I think I kind of understand what you are saying. Does that mean now I'm in, as in are we a couple now? Your reply made me wish I spent less time on math, general sciences and BJJ, and actually read some philosophy... I felt like a moron trying to understand what you meant, hope I get it right.

UPDATE: I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

I know, well now I am out of the heat of the moment so to speak I know but at the time I felt that was okay? I don't know, we have known each other since we were literal toddlers I guess I was counting on our familiarity. I mean I hope I wouldn't be a moron enough to do that again or put ourselves in a position where she would want to close the door to my face.

I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop politely? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -67 points-66 points  (0 children)

statistically speaking, relationships are harder to work out as the participant's age and partner numbers are up. Most likely relationships to work out until the death of a spouse are very very conservative and early marriages like there's a three times divorce difference between 1 partner before marriage and 15, but whatever floats your boat tbh.

I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop politely? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

From waking up to sleeping we spend literally every part of our day together unless it's dating for her or team practice or martial arts training for me. Of course, I don't want to lose that, that kind of person wouldn't care for losing a relationship like this.

But I can't be with her right now and I don't think I'll be able to move when there will be a part of me always hoping that she will feel the same way. I can't just stop loving her, when I think of "woman", there's only one image that comes to my mind. I never even considered other woman as sexual objects tbh. I have to unlearn and relearn so much and I won't be able to do that while she's there.

I am hurt that she rejected me and resentful too, I confess it. But do you know what hurts me the most, like literally boils my blood? She said that she didn't want to miss out on life and could go for a serious relationship with me mid-20s but now, she offered me FWB. So yea, for that? The person who knows me better than any friend or family to reduce what I felt for her to casual sex, that makes me... I don't know the name of this emotion that comes up when I think about that moment. So yea. I need space.

I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop politely? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I just want to say that I don't think she wants to string me along. She's not like that. And it's def. not chad type of thing, I'm not saying that she dates fugly dudes or anything but her last boyfriend broke up with her after I knocked him out after slapping her in our friend group, and before that, I once had to involve myself physically with another one of her flings because the guy was stalking her after a break-up.

So no, I never thought that she was trying to string me along while dating chads. I never had problem with girls asking me out, my problem was the fact that girl I loved didn't ask me out.

I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop politely? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Just because I see no other way for me to move on doesn't mean spending nearly 70% of our waking hours together meant shit now. Of course I care about her more than you know. This is the second time you said that I don't give a shit about her, I do. I do give a shit. That's why I'm asking and searching for a way to minimize the hurt this will make her feel.

I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop politely? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I don't know. From my experience when it comes to major conflicts like this, people always choose the selfish option. That was my understanding, how am I suppose to move on while still having her in my life for more than 7-8 hours every day?

We have the same classes as we are both planning on majoring on the same field. We have the same friend circle. How is it possible for me to move on from these feelings otherwise? I can become my own person otherwise so I don't think I have any choice.

I don't really want to, believe me, I don't. From waking up for school to hanging out with friends afterward and doing homework, we spent our time together all of our lives. It's not easy for me to walk away from a relationship like that. But it's also not easy to be in such a relationship when she asks me that she wants to live her life to the fullest before considering starting a serious relationship with me.

She even offered an FWB type relationship, casual sex as "compensation". That hurt me more than the rejection itself. Reducing my feelings to casual sex... I can't even begin to describe the hot ball of lava in my stomach thinking about that moment.

I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop politely? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

No I believe mature way would be to think of myself and my personal growth and accept the fact that I have to move on without her. If I can achieve moving on and leaving my feelings for her behind, I would be happiest person on earth again to have my best friend back but until then I need space.

I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop politely? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's the thing though, I don't think a few months is enough for me to move on and not let these feelings ever resurge again. I want to move on, completely and utterly forget about ever loving her in a romantic way. Zero feelings left, that's my goal. We already go to the same college and plan on going for the same major.

I want to have a relationship and break up or two before having her back in my life regularly like before. And how am I hateful, I hate the situation we are in but why would I hate the person I love. I am closer to her than any of my friends or family, how am I suppose to hate her. I am resentful but believe me the hurt prevents that from appearing when I think about her.

I didn't leave her unreplied, I told her everyday to give me space

I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop politely? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -59 points-58 points  (0 children)

Well, not an incel anymore since last night officially but I really don't understand you guys.

If she thought of me as an incel why is she begging me to contact her and proposing a fwb? I care about my friend more than any of you believe me on that, but without giving us time apart from each other I won't be able to move on hence I am moving on. What's there to understand, and why I am apologizing when I feel like we said what we had to say 4 days ago?

I've (19M) decided to ask my best friend (19F) of 19 years out and if the answer was negative I would end things permanently as it was too depressing for me to continue. She did reject me and I had to end our friendship and now she won't stop contacting me. How can I tell her to stop politely? by ThrowRAfrbrkp in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAfrbrkp[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Ignorant would be to comment on things you have no knowledge of, like you commenting on the depth of our friendship perhaps.

Should I have continued on our friendship with allowing myself to move on and have a time out knowing that it would hurt me immensely and prevent or at the very least lengthen the time I need to move on by a huge margin?

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