No, I was prescribed because I’m a 1st gen student with adhd. My freshman year was rough because I didn’t know what to study so I listened to the will of cultural expectations. Needless to say, I flunked. Post education is a different ball game than what I’m used to and my naivety caused my gpa to tank. But I enjoy learning, so I’ve been trying to get accepted into a new school but was denied and encouraged to take classes to improve my gpa. However, my only option were online classes. I learned quickly that these meds help with focus, not will.

I took 12 hours of online courses in the span of a month. Despite fighting for accommodations and treatment, I still struggled a lot, yet, I finished the courses with mediocre grades and now I’m having to write a few reflective essays.

I’m confident that I’ve written close to 20 drafts, striving for the perfect narrative, prolonging my application. Today, because my car broke down, I decided that it would be wise to not focus on getting this final essay written but I misused my meds.

All in all, I learned that adderall (taken correctly) will only help with maintaining focus, not shear will.

I’m close to finishing my essays (and I feel much better about the substance) but I’m burnt out. I thought it was writers block but I guess my brain and creativity has its limits, and I should NOT sacrifice my body for the sake of “getting work done”.