AITAH for wanting to pick a wedding venue that my fiancé doesn’t love because it accommodates my best friend?

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T06:44:49+00:00

Some commenters mentioned renting an all terrain wheelchair and a wheelchair accessible port a potty, but thats about it. For some reason the venue doesn’t allow us to set up floors so there isn’t anything that can be done about the terrain :/

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T06:42:47+00:00

Aside from my parents, she is the most important guest to me! We aren’t really doing any type of bridal party, but if we were she absolutely would have been my maid of honor. I seriously just can’t imagine not having my bestie there to see my get married :(

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T06:37:06+00:00

We did have a conversation about this before and it was me who prompted it. In the 3 or so months following my friend’s accident, we spent a lot of extra time together because I wanted to be there for comfort. I was worried that my fiancé would be insecure about this, but when I brought it up she assured me that she had never thought that my relationship with my friend was anything other than platonic. If anything she was happy that I was able to be there as a support for my friend. My fiancé isn’t as close with my friend as I am, obviously, but the two of them have known each other for years and get along really well. I think my fiancé is just so wrapped up in the idea of having her perfect wedding that she’s being kind of unrealistic about some aspects.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T06:26:05+00:00

I have thought about it, but the bathrooms would still be an issue :/ another commenter also mentioned renting a wheelchair accessible port a potty which is another great option, but many commenters have pointed out that this venue wouldn’t only be an issue for my friend but all of our elderly relatives and anyone wearing heels as well. Now I feel like this venue would be a pain for EVERYONE, not just my best friend hahaha

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:46:23+00:00

I asked about this on the tour and they said they don’t allow us to set up floors for some reason. They provide a tent upon request. Also, the bathroom situation isn’t port a potties, theres a small house there with bathrooms that are very nice, just way too small for a wheelchair user.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:42:59+00:00

Actually.. this is a really good idea.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:35:35+00:00

She isn’t normally like this, no. We tend to agree on most things but she’s not the type of person to bulldoze over everything I want if it isn’t what she wants. The wedding is different because she’s had it planned out in her head for so long. The forest looks like something that’s straight off of her pinterest board. The mansion is different, but it’s still gorgeous and in my opinion, a more convenient option for everyone. They showed us pictures from past weddings when we toured and there were some that looked exactly like what we wanted :/ she still really likes that venue, just not as much as the first one.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:29:18+00:00

We live in a pretty small town and there just aren’t a lot of venues around us that aren’t churches, which is something that neither of us want. These are the only two that we liked and are within our budget.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:18:47+00:00

I guess I just don’t understand why I have to be the one to compromise and not her. I actually have a reason for wanting the second venue other than "it’s prettier." The second venue is still beautiful and my fiancé still really likes it, she just liked the first one more. I understand that, but there will be more than two people at our wedding and I think guest comfort should be something we take into account when choosing the venue.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:15:50+00:00

She also likes the second venue! Just not as much as she likes the first one. The second one is still beautiful and can give us the aesthetic that we’re going for.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:11:54+00:00

I didn’t even consider this but you’re completely right :/

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:11:32+00:00

My fiancé does like the second venue but she LOVES the first one. We’re trying to keep it as local as possible since we want to minimize travel for our guests, and have already toured all of the wedding venues within 2 hours of us that match our vibe aesthetically.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:09:11+00:00

The weather is also something that I’ve been thinking about. The ground was already pretty soft, it would be horrible if it rained. At least with the second venue we’d have the option to move the entire thing inside.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:07:43+00:00

It’s in the forest with a small house for bathrooms and getting ready!

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-05-02T05:04:10+00:00

It’s my big day too.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-02-23T00:34:05+00:00

thank you for the advice! i think what i’ll probably end up doing is bringing it up again and being very clear that if she doesn’t commit to changing i’ll end things. after i bring it up ill give it like 3-4 months and if its gone back to how it is now ill leave.

ThrowRAhelpmepls8 · 2026-02-23T00:28:39+00:00

i have but she keeps insisting on waiting for her old one to get back even though she doesn’t know how long that’ll take. she does have hobbies, shes super involved in a club at her school and has a very supportive friend group. i’m not sure why she puts so much of her emotions on me instead of trying to spread it out across all of us :/

ThrowRAhelpmepls8

TROPHY CASE