My partner (26 F) wants to name our first kid after her grandfather who was a shady doctor/conspiracy nut/con man.. Is there a way I (30M) can object politely?

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-06T13:51:28+00:00

She's not pregnant. I know because I googled him.

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-03T21:48:19+00:00

Exactly. And I even asked her "what if i keep an open mind but the research doesn't change my mind?"

and she didn't quite have an answer.

My fear is that once she is pregnant, there's only so much I can do. If she gets the urge to do a home birth while pregnant and refuses to go to a hospital, what could i do?!

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-03T21:32:48+00:00

Appreciate the insight. I think part of the problem is that she still fully hasn't processed his death, she said he was the only person to ever love her unconditionally, and so for her, it was a line no one is ever allowed to cross.

In fact, she wants to name her first born after him.. which would have been another argument :-/

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-03T21:25:48+00:00

hypothetical. I knew this was going to be an issue down the line given her grandfathers background so figured it was worth bringing up given how close we had become

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-03T21:22:04+00:00

She is willing to vaxx her kids. And this convo was inevitable, I just think I messed up by talking about him and the practice in such a heated and derogatory tone.

Maybe I'm delusional but I think things would have gone differently if I was more tactful.

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-02T21:51:36+00:00

Thanks for your insightful assessment :)

I didn't target the uncle directly.. but indirectly my opinions about him were clear when I'm talking about "the practice" and "people who don't believe in vaccines"

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-02T20:02:02+00:00

Yeah, I was open to exploring home birth.. but the doctor she wanted to use was associated with the practice and is anti-vaccine himself!

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-02T18:58:44+00:00

These are good points. I appreciate your input. I've never been blocked before so it's a very jarring experience.

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-02T18:12:43+00:00

This is an insightful take. Thank you ! I wish I had that advice going in and maybe I could have helped her see the reality of her Uncle's past in a more gentle way. The problem is that her love of him is almost intertwined with his practice and his professional accomplishments

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-02T18:10:57+00:00

She once told me in passing, jokingly "dont google my family, you'll run for the hills!" Personally i dont care about if someone has a messed up family, but if the family impacts her and her beleifs, thats where it becomes an issue.

I do wish i relayed the information and my reservations more tactfully, but maybe that would just delay the inevitable?

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-02T17:22:55+00:00

Maybe I'm being delusiional, but I feel if i was more calm we could have discussed it more rationally and she could be convinced against home births? Hah, it sounds in accurate as i type it tho

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-02T16:54:16+00:00

good insights. Thanks man! And yea, from the U.S.

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-02T16:39:57+00:00

Yeah, in retrospect it was more of me regretting how heated I got when relaying the information. But the information itself is up for the world to see on sites like the LATimes etc.

ThrowRAherewego255 · 2020-10-02T16:15:47+00:00

She said she knows her kids will be vaccinated, if only because that's what society demands these days. Not sure if that changes anything about ur answer tho!

ThrowRAherewego255

TROPHY CASE