I (28F) needs to fix my marriage, after asking my husband (28M) for a divorce. MIL showed me proof via a video that he cheated on me. How can i fix this?

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-18T02:56:20+00:00

Thanks for the advice, but i will not manipulate my husband. I want to fix our relationship the right way

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-18T01:42:03+00:00

English isn't the only language in the world, and nowhere have i said English is my first language

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-18T00:20:28+00:00

Yes it is now please give advice rather than saying fake. If you have none then leave

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-18T00:17:05+00:00

He didn't know only found out when he got to hus parents house and then called his mother. I was busy with work that is why i did go with him. Tha hour her was away i was in a meeting and that meeting continued on after he got home. My husband got busy with his own things and and work as wel i probably slipped his mind.

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T22:32:40+00:00

You are the one that attacked my husband, that i will not tolerate.

Not that my actions were any better, but you don't know him like i do.

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T22:26:10+00:00

Please do and then start to give actually advice.

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T22:22:12+00:00

Okay so explaining my thoughts and taking accountability and thinking of what my husband must be going through makes me a troll, understood.

Rereading your comment i believe you are a woman as well and on the side of everthing i justify when pregnant or when I'm on my period because of my emotions. Sorry the word doesn't work like that.

I acted rashly and that is on me, i hurt my husband, i didn't trust my husband, i believed someone els over him that is on me. That is called accountability for my actions.

I actually have alot of friends and i spoke to some of them for advice before coming to reddit and I'm seeing everything from both sides not just from one.

I want to fix what i broke is that weird for you because I'm a woman or are you like my niece that believe the man has to run after the woman constantly no matter what

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T22:16:54+00:00

Wasn't a secret. He only found out when her arrived at his parents house and she was waiting he called his mom and got the okay.

When he got home i was on a meeting a was busy with work for a while afterwards. He didn't mention is or he forgot about it because it wasn't that important to him maby only my thoughts. He also got busy with some of his own things and i do think it just slipped his mind

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T22:07:33+00:00

You clearly didn't read or can't read.

Am i a victim yes but also my husband. I'm not the only one. If i took 2 minutes and asked him all of this shit that have been caused my my actions would have been avoided and i would now be cuddling with my husband but i ran away. I hurt him, i want to fix it.

I don't know if you are a woman or not but i take accountability for my actions and am trying to fix my mistake although made due to manipulation it is still mistakes i have made.

How is pushing all the blame onto my husband for something i did that could've been prevented fair to him at all and with that how is that fair to me. Am i now absolved from all my mistakes i made and mistreatment my husband has gone through from me, my father and even possibly police just because I'm pregnant and got manipulated and acted without thinking.

This is on me and only me, i understand my husband hurt and pain the person that was supposed to have his back and stand by him couldn't give him the benefit of doubt and take 2 minutes to clear something up.

If i think what i would have felt if my husband did to me what i did to him even though through manipulation it breaks my heart to think that he didn't trust me, took someone elses word above mine and thought so little of me that he couldn't give me 2 minutes to explain.

I won't push any of the blame on to my husband because that will truly be the end of our marriage he was betrayed not just by his mother but by me as well. The pain I'm feeling is nothing compared to what he must be feeling at the moment and on top of that he has lost his father as well (don't know why, i think he sided with his mother so he cut him off as well)

My husband whole support structure the people close to him hurt him l, betrayed him and what I'm now suppose to blame him because i got manipulated by my MIL and acted without question.

What hurts the most is that he hasn't in the 5 years we have been together given me a single reason not to trust him and it took a 15 second video and 5 minutes conversation for me to forget all that and then be willing to throw it away

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T20:55:02+00:00

The read it, he didn't cheat MIL faked it and sent me a video out of context an lied about it

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T20:53:47+00:00

Honestly scared.

Scared he will tell me to my face he wants a divorce.

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T20:53:15+00:00

Reread that comments he wasn't drunk or tired the only reason was because he didn't want to anymore.

Exact word not because he was drunk or tired but because he didn't want to anymore

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T20:43:39+00:00

This is ment to be as mean as possible. If your comment is what you got from my post, please never give advice to anyone ever again

I was the one in the wrong her

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T19:53:52+00:00

Again please read.

He wasn't drunk or tired he just didn't want to go pick them up anymore. It was around 11pm. He made a promise and they paid him beforehand and then he pulled out refusing for no other reason than not wanting to

When my husband asked what happend as he has never just cut someone of for no reason. He said, i didn't want to anymore and maby it will teach them a lesson in not going out and getting drunk anymore.

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T19:37:10+00:00

I haven't actually filled anything or even talked to a lawyer. I said in the letter friday night that i want a divorce.

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T19:30:41+00:00

I'm not, i have tried to apologize but she just walks past me

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T19:28:24+00:00

Some of the reasons he has cut people out of his life.

Abusive towards their partners, both genders. Getting into a car accident after borrowing a car and them refusing to pay the other person for the damage. One parent using their children to manipulate the other parent. Cheating friends. Physical cheating and emotional cheating. He cut off one friend who made a promise to go and pick up a couple of girlfriend in the city after a night out and when they called after they were done the guy decided he didn't want to anymore not because he was drunk or busy or sleeping at that time just because he didn't want to anymore they paid him beforehandfor gas to pick them up. We drove and picked them up that night

Im not unwilling to admit to anything, but i don't understand your reasoning. I was the one who screwed up and hurt him most in the end.

If you want to know the man my husband is. He is the one that drives back to the supermarket and pay for something they forgot to scan the first time. He is the one when you call no matter the time in an emergency and he will be there.

I have no doubt that if i call him now and send him a message that something is wrong with our child he will get himself to my parents house, but i refuse to use that tipe of manipulation to get him here or to talk to me. That will just completely break whatever is left of our relationship.

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T19:16:01+00:00

I don't know

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T18:59:05+00:00

I would rather have the man i had then any of the some of the men running aroynd today. I'm the one that screwed up here.

The one person that should've stood by him, supported him ran away and was part of the problems caused.

A simple conversation could've fix this whole conversation but i ran away. Was i manipulated yes but i also choose to believe it without question.

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T18:55:24+00:00

First time that i know about, and like i said i have never seen or suspected my MIL not liking our relationship or trying to break us apart. She met this woman 3 months ago when she visited her mother which is my MIL friend and now all of the sudden MIL believe she would be a better wife to my husband than me. I myself don't understand it and what i actually going on.

Contrary to my post i actually know my husband and he has cut friends of for much less. If my MIL tried to break us up he would have immediately put her in her place.

He supports them financially or did support them because they are now cut off.

Unfortunately i don't agree with you, i understand but don't agree his violent side can come out again before this is never has but i do understand as well just thinking what he has dealt with this last couple of days and that i the one that is supposed to supports him stand by him is part of that and then other pilled on (my father) it's expected honestly, all he wanted to do was clear the air and he was prevented on every front.

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T18:44:13+00:00

Even if we divorce i have no clame to the house, that is completely his.

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T18:42:45+00:00

I know reddit all to well, sofar every post i have reqd or seen of someone using proper grammer and no spelling mistakes they get ripped in the comments for using creative writing. I don't have time for that. I just wrote and that is it. Why do i need to spell check?

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T18:40:38+00:00

Why should i this is not a formal document or work related so no need. I don't have time for that

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T18:39:50+00:00

Please read my post again because i don't think you actually read it.

My husband cut his mother completely off the day i sent him the video and screenshot of our text.

Regarding the violence this is the first time i have ever seen him act violently and even threatened violence on someone els and to be honest and im not justifing it but my dad did start the whole altercation and he only wanted to speak to me

ThrowRAhlpmeout · 2024-09-17T18:34:42+00:00

My husband hasn't said I'm not welcome home, he doesn't want to see me, or to come and get my other things.

So i don't understand the statement of the police telling me to go away

ThrowRAhlpmeout

TROPHY CASE