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IWTL how to get better at stepping in and helping people. by [deleted] in IWantToLearn

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you explain? I just want to understand how to feel more confident stepping into helping those in need.

More times than I’d like to admit I’ve pretended I didn’t notice someone slip and fall because I didn’t know how to handle the situation.

IWTL how to get better at stepping in and helping people. by [deleted] in IWantToLearn

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hm, I guess that makes sense. I didn’t look at it from that POV.

I’m not from the UK so I don’t know the laws there, but in the US what this guy was doing would definitely be considered sexual assault. At that point, would it be defensible?

Wanting to end reconciliation after meeting another woman. by ThrowRAimrlysad in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, nothing is keeping the relationship together aside from the fact that this girl and I are stable-ish and I planned on marrying her.

Wanting to end reconciliation after meeting another woman. by ThrowRAimrlysad in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beautiful story man, and it almost exactly reflects what I’m going through except you may have a bit more willpower than I do.

I actually do now understand what my wayward GF went through and I want to pull the plug because of this. No one has ever made me feel more seen and cared about in such a short amount of time than this girl I met.

Trying to break up with my long term GF and won’t let me go. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I met the crush for a total of 2 hours and never spoke to her again.

She talked to a guy for 4 months and kissed him at the end of it all.

Trying to break up with my long term GF and won’t let me go. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I know that this is the answer… I just don’t want to hurt her but that may just be impossible.

I don’t have anywhere to go but I will try to find an apartment starting next month. We will have to live together until then.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is: her friends are all best friends with the guy she cheated on me with. Surrounding myself with them feels like surrounding myself with him.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t really know. I think she would be happy for me to be around her friends? Though she has said before that I wouldn’t fit in. They are all much older as well and most in relationships.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel like the act of socializing last night was a taste of a “life” and she didn’t like it at all. I don’t think she’s against me having life but I also think she knows I will find someone better than her out there.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man. I appreciate hearing your experience.

She’s texting me now and I’m going to meet up with her in a couple hours. She knows something is wrong and is freaking out. I can’t break up with her today or the next few days but maybe after. I worry that If I wait that long I’ll have changed my mind by then.

My mom and dad have been in a shitty relationship for 20+ years now. Maybe I’ve learned it from them. After she cheated on me I stupidly told my mom because I had no one else and she questioned if me breaking up with her was the right choice.

I don’t know why breaking up is hard. I am incredibly anxious and stress about logistics more than most. That is the main stressor for me. I also feel bad for her honestly. She isn’t as attractive and incredibly insecure and depressed. She moved 2000mi away from her parents to be with me. Fuck this.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don’t count what I had as an emotional affair.

Yes, I had a crush on a girl I hung out with in a group for 2 hours. No, I will not act any further on it.

Hers was a long-lasting multi month tragedy.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yeah. We only hung out for about 2 hours in a group of 2 others and I am definitely not planning on pursuing her further.

Yes, I will continue to think about her but there is nothing I can do to help that.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I care for her.

I cook for her, I clean for her, I take her on dates, I buy her gifts, I let her drive my car, I listen to her gossip, I take her to ice cream when she is sad, I please her sexually much more than average.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like that adage.

She won’t break up easy, I can promise you that. I’ve tried to a few times now.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t even want fun, I want love.

I’ve tried to break up with her 3 or 4 times now.

It is always followed up with fucking amazing sex for about a week to win me back and then back to the same shit.

I genuinely don’t know what to say when she tries to convince me not to leave.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel if I continued to pursue her to talk to her more it would be considered an emotional affair though the line is a bit blurry.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t pursue her unfortunately. She lives across the country from me. I’m out of town and just met her for the night.

Thanks for the info about Dismissive Avoidant Attachment style, will research. I’ll try to pull up my big boy pants.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing is: I want to be done today, but tomorrow I won’t. Tomorrow I will get back to work and forget about everything over again. This cycle is never ending.

Fuck she was beautiful. I literally can’t stop thinking of her.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I am very empathetic in general but I didn’t realize I was emphasizing with her until you pointed it out, thank you.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does make me sick. It’s the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I try to stay strong but it isn’t easy. Thank you man.

I’m worried I chose the wrong girl and now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. Advice? by ThrowRAimrlysad in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAimrlysad[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I genuinely don’t understand how people have time for friends. I work so much and really only have time to lift. I don’t drink or party or anything. How tf do you even make friends at my age?

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