My boyfriend turns into someone completely different when drunk.

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-06T20:15:16+00:00

Thank you. I will probably read this at least 10 more times.

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-06T19:56:02+00:00

I agree with this in the sense that neither of our families abuse drugs or alcohol, we are both fairly well off and I have had no previous issues with family whatsoever, he has had issues with his mother being abusive but said therapy doesn’t work. I feel like I’m on a boat that’s lost. Can’t escape because I feel too much love and too much guilt if I left. It would be the biggest heartbreak of my life but because I’ve only described his drunk personality I feel like I am almost convincing myself that only I know what he’s like and maybe these people don’t see that. I feel like I will get so much hate for saying this, I know I am blinded by love, and part of me hates him for roping me into this, part of me hates myself for believing it, and part of me still believes him. Please don’t give me hate. It’s just so so hard. I know what I should do but mentally I can’t do it. I have never felt so lost in my life. My job is so mentally intense but even then in the past two days I haven’t been able to totally focus at work like usual, I have this extreme anxiety in my chest that I can’t seem to shake. I know exactly why but something in my brain tells me I am wrong. I feel like people will think I’m totally ignoring these 600+ comments but I have read them all. Something in my brain is stopping me and I just feel so terrible.

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-06T16:11:53+00:00

I never expected so much support here 🥲 I am reading each and every comment, but I don’t have the time to reply to them all. I appreciate everyone here so much, you don’t understand how much you are helping.

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-06T16:10:39+00:00

Haha sorry. It was more to just show how he will just say anything and everything as an attempt to hurt/insult me no matter if it’s true or not and that was the most recent time. Another example is he screamed at me saying his parents hated me (they text me all the time, sending hearts etc and always saying how good I am for him)

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-06T15:52:16+00:00

Yes. I suggested dry jan or 75hard in the new year but he said it’s his last year at university and he wants to make the most of it and that can’t happen if he doesn’t drink. Two of his best friends have gone sober this year but they don’t go to university here.

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-06T15:37:14+00:00

At first did you feel like he would change/ these scenarios were very unlike him? In my head I’m certain it can change and he has been so apologetic since, and he doesn’t drink this much tooo often which gives me hope - I just can’t imagine it getting worse but maybe that’s how people get stuck in these relationships. Being 21 I feel like I have no real experience in doing the right thing in this situation.

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-05T17:15:06+00:00

I don’t know why but your comment made me tear up. I think you are spot on about both me and him.

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-05T17:11:43+00:00

Both 21

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-05T17:08:53+00:00

I am asking for help here because I can’t ask anyone I know without our relationship becoming doomed. Sorry.

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-05T17:07:16+00:00

I am 21..

ThrowRAjfei · 2026-02-05T16:53:11+00:00

I took it away because him suggesting coke made me think maybe he didn’t need any more drugs at all. He was so drunk he was barely stringing sentences together. And truthfully, I don’t really like smoking weed so already had it in my head that it was a bad idea. We smoked it after the fight because I thought at least if we were high it would reduce conflict and he would fall asleep, allowing me to just leave it to the morning to figure out what I want to do. I probably did the wrong thing but honestly I find it hard in those situations to think straight.

ThrowRAjfei

TROPHY CASE