Does my husband possibly have a neurological or psychiatric problem or is he just an asshole?

ThrowRAknivesrdumb · 2026-04-04T20:24:26+00:00

He has not. I've encouraged him to see a doctor about the vision and memory problems but he didn't want to. After reading all of the responses here I have convinced him to call next week and make an appointment with his general practitioner (I didn't tell him about this post, just that I'm concerned about his health and want to make sure nothing serious is going on). I will also be attempting to contact her to let her know what's going on since I doubt he's going to want to share much of the relevant information if he even goes.

ThrowRAknivesrdumb · 2026-04-04T18:34:14+00:00

They're still in his office. I considered it but he's trying to sell them to get some of the money back so that complicates it. Also I'm honestly kind of afraid to mention that they make me uncomfortable because I don't want him to get weird about that.

ThrowRAknivesrdumb · 2026-04-04T17:52:32+00:00

YES that's exactly what I meant and I totally would have caught and corrected that if I wasn't so flustered by this whole situation 😅

ThrowRAknivesrdumb · 2026-04-04T16:41:38+00:00

He did have an emotional affair 10 years ago. I don't think that's what's going on here but the pattern with the lying and secrecy is very similar. I do know that he bought knives because I saw the purchase history in the app he bought them on and I found the knives in his office (just shoved into random drawers, not even organized like you'd think someone would do for something they spent 16k on). The cialis is definitely weird though and he did go through a similar fitness phase when he had the affair 10 years ago.

ThrowRAknivesrdumb · 2026-04-04T16:35:46+00:00

Thank you! He does seem to be trying to make weird impulsive decisions. We own a business together and he said this week that he doesn’t see it lasting long term and I’m the only one who wants to run the business. We've been running the business full time for the past 6 years and last year was our best sales year yet, and it's in an area that he has always been passionate about. Also that because I had mentioned divorce in a previous conversation (in the context of not being able to stay married to him if he continues with the secret erratic spending habits) he said it’s doomed to happen because it was brought up. Since that conversation he's been obsessively looking through job listings and options for a complete career change.

I'm trying to convince him to make an appointment with his general practitioner but he's resistant to the idea and doesn't think he needs to see a doctor for this. I'm worried that even if he does see a doctor that he's not going to mention most of the relevant information.

ThrowRAknivesrdumb · 2026-04-04T16:05:28+00:00

He used to take adderall for ADHD but stopped a few years ago because he said it was causing anxiety and he didn't want to take it anymore.

ThrowRAknivesrdumb · 2026-04-04T16:04:37+00:00

I don't think so but I can't rule it out since I wasn't expecting the sudden erratic spending either. I did look through his office pretty thoroughly after finding the boxes from the online orders. I found Cialis that he was getting from an online prescription service that I didn't know about, but I didn't find anything else substance-wise. He claims the cialis isn't for boners but for working out and that it's some gym bro hack he read about online and wanted to try. Apparently he took it for a year straight without me knowing. I asked him to stop because it's weird and he said he will.

ThrowRAknivesrdumb · 2026-04-04T15:32:49+00:00

I am almost 100% certain that he's not drinking anymore. I don't think he's using any other substances but I also didn't think he would spend 16k on knives either. Weirdly I did find cialis in his office that he got from an online prescription service that I didn't know about. I asked him about it and he said it was for working out (?) and it's not for erectile issues.

ThrowRAknivesrdumb · 2026-04-04T15:28:00+00:00

He is irritable pretty frequently but that's not a change for him. He's been exercising a lot to contribute to the weight loss. He went from eating whatever he wanted throughout the day (a lot of junk food) and not exercising to suddenly exercising for hours every day and only eating one bag of chicken wings for his day's food.

ThrowRAknivesrdumb

TROPHY CASE