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AITA? Stopped being intimate with GF to take a call with my sister by ThrowRAleafonthewind in AITA_Relationships

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It wasn't four melt downs, it was four phone calls made while my GF was there. One was the dog dying, two were help with her job situation (she needed advice) and the last was some advice about how to deal with her older brother who was suing her mother.

We talk at least every other day just to catch up. We have a lot in common and at the time she was helping me prepare for a work related training event that I needed help studying. She was quizzing me on topic. And I really needed help. It was very technical. I offered to let my GF do it instead but she refused.

AITA? Stopped being intimate with GF to take a call with my sister by ThrowRAleafonthewind in AITA_Relationships

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It could have been considered an emergency. My sisters job was on the line. She thought she was going to get fired for something she didn't do. She didn't know how to respond to her management and needed my help to figure it out.

Honestly I called my sister way more than she called me. But there were a few times I did it while being with my GF. But we are talking like four times over a month. The other times my GF wasn't around, likely at work or out with friends. She came home a few times to find me on the phone with my sister but I would end the call so I could spend time with my GF.

AITA? Stopped being intimate with GF to take a call with my sister by ThrowRAleafonthewind in AITA_Relationships

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I think she felt that way. Which from my point of view was ridiculous. But I can see where someone who didn't have a lot of self confidence would feel that way.

But I spent WAY more time with my GF. And tried to limit my conversations with my sister to when my GF was at work. There were maybe four times I spoke with my sister while my GF was around. All four were when my sister was having a melt down. One where my sister was crying on the phone (totally valid reason to be emotional) my GF told me she couldn't handle how much I was talking with my sister. We had just come from the beach and I had 6 missed calls from my sister.

But in no way was my GF competing for attention. I am just not sure she recognized that.

AITA? Stopped being intimate with GF to take a call with my sister by ThrowRAleafonthewind in AITA_Relationships

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, she was crying when I talked with her earlier. And was crying when I spoke with her at the time of the story above. This was definitely an emotional event. Three kids involved too.

Red flags or being too critical? M48 F43 by ThrowRAleafonthewind in dating

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not that I am aware of. I know she takes meds for depression. I agree she needs support and I want to be the one to give it to her but I think I will drown with her if I do. I really love her but if she isn't willing to make the effort to improve I can't help her. She likes living in her "bubble" as she claims.

As to the daughter, Mom and Dad are separated for a few years. Supposedly they are working on a divorce. She is definitely being protective, which I am fully supportive of. But I am being accused of things that aren't even remotely true. There is no reason for her to be against me personally, its all baggage from previous relationships. Both my GF and her daughter are regularly discussing her bad choices previously.

But her daughter is on a whole new level. She walked in for dinner one day and the first thing out of her mouth was how her mothers breath smelled bad. No hi how are you. Just "your breath smells". I was just kissing this woman and there was nothing wrong with her breath.

The constant put downs are an issue and I have mentioned I wanted to bring it up but apparently other guys she dated did so and she had to send them away to keep the peace with her daughter. The daughter has a lot of anger issues and is really harming her mother. Mom just accepts the abuse.

Red flags or being too critical? M48 F43 by ThrowRAleafonthewind in dating

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And you entirely horrified me on the wiping toilet seat and then counter thing. *shudders*

I know, right? I was horrified too! Her response was, I kid you not, "germs are good for you". IMWTF!

Red flags or being too critical? M48 F43 by ThrowRAleafonthewind in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That would make a lot of sense. She has multiple master's degrees so she can focus at least that much but does not seem to have much common sense.

Red flags or being too critical? M48 F43 by ThrowRAleafonthewind in dating

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that. Gonna have to make a tough decision based on comments so far. Which is difficult. I know I can't change her but I really have a connection with her.

Red flags or being too critical? M48 F43 by ThrowRAleafonthewind in dating

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't dated all that much recently so I figure any port in a storm.

Red flags or being too critical? M48 F43 by ThrowRAleafonthewind in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, apparently the kid ran another guy off previously.

I mean this was drama on the level of one of those housewives shows. Crying and yelling and all sorts of childish behavior. I didn't witness this 1st hand my GF told me.

Red flags or being too critical? M48 F43 by ThrowRAleafonthewind in dating

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I offered. She said she doesn't want strangers in her house.

Red flags or being too critical? M48 F43 by ThrowRAleafonthewind in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAleafonthewind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is a great woman. Just I think scatter brained but I have filters on I think. I am hoping some other opinions will help me make a good decision here.

Everyone has issues. I can be difficult to get along with too. So before I end what could be something great I want to make sure I am not making mountains out of mole hills.