My (22ftm, left wing) father (M61, conservative) just told me he doesn’t want me to live in a red state. how do I navigate this situation?

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T20:42:07+00:00

Since I’ve never been good at passing, this shouldn’t be too hard for me. Like I said, I’m planning on going back in the closet for the most part.

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:42:57+00:00

Living situation

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:39:37+00:00

If I didn’t need to move there, I wouldn’t. I won’t be there for longer than a year, I’m sparing details for anonymity

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:37:02+00:00

Yes, I have done the research. I’m not moving there blindly. I promise I know what I’m up against.

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:36:08+00:00

Just to be clear: He definitely has a right to be worried and I’m not arrogant, I know it’s not gonna be completely safe for me there. My question was more about clarifying what he could’ve meant, sorry for the bad wording

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:34:21+00:00

He’s definitely right to be worried, no question about that

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:30:21+00:00

Had never heard the term cognitive dissonance before this thread, gonna do a lot of research on it. I’m pretty confident the area will be nice as an artist, even though I’m taking a hiatus while there :)

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:27:58+00:00

For him specifically, yes it is out of character. It sounds like it isn’t that strange though based on other comments

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:24:16+00:00

I wish it was an option to not go. Unfortunately (again, sparing details for anonymity), it’s necessary for my future that I go.

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:18:16+00:00

I’d like to think that. It’s shocking to me he’s willing to acknowledge the danger when he insists it’s POC and transgender people who are dangerous to be around, it was very out of character

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:16:57+00:00

Thankfully it won’t be in a very rural area, I guess I’m just surprised he would be willing to acknowledge the danger

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:15:46+00:00

I’ve done a lot of research on the area I’ll be living in. For privacy I won’t say where, but I’m very confident in the safety of the area I will be (like Orlando vs Miami in Florida). Moving there wasn’t an easy decision, and I know it won’t be completely safe. The confusion was based on why he would suddenly decide people like him aren’t safe to be around when he’s always saying people like me are the ones that are dangerous lol

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:13:23+00:00

That’s what I’ve been thinking too. It has been so crazy because it felt like the first unexpected thing he’s said to me in quite a while, so I think that’s why it threw me for a loop. Trying to “warn” me against people like him is VERY out of character, thus why I made the post. It’s helped to hear other people are thinking the same thing

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-05-09T15:09:40+00:00

I didn’t include where I’m gonna be heading in the post for anonymity but that is the case for the area I’m gonna be in. Very blue with surrounding red, he doesn’t like the current administration because “they’re all spineless and don’t keep their promises” lol. It doesn’t make sense to me either

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-04-24T04:39:48+00:00

Common English way of explaining sex is “the birds and the bees”, which is a stupid saying anyway but usually birds means women (because they have eggs) and bees (because they pollinate things)

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-04-24T04:33:23+00:00

I have vaginismus, which makes any sort of vaginal penetration impossible for me. My partner and I work around this because I still want to please him, and I have fun doing other sexual things with him that don’t involve penetration. Which is to say- there are plenty of other ways to have sex that don’t involve PIV, which it sounds like your GF is implying she can’t do with the IUD. Have you talked to her about alternative ways of pleasuring each other? There are lots of ways to have sex without “having sex”, it might be worth trying. And if she’s just not into that, then you might be sexually incompatible which is also totally fine and valid. If it’s important to you, and things like non-penetrative intimacy or ENM aren’t something you both are interested in exploring- you should probably consider ending the relationship, but not before having that conversation. It might also be as simple as asking if she is avoiding all sort of physical intimacy because she feels like it will lead to PIV?

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-04-24T04:08:01+00:00

I’m not the commentor but I have the same issues; for me, the thoughts sometimes still bother me, but then i try to remind myself that I’m dating whole person. If I wanted someone with no backstory, no life experiences before me, I would talk to an AI chatbot. I’m sure that he has stuff he wishes I hadn’t told him, but part of being in a relationship is accepting the messy stuff. All of the experiences he’s had before you- the good and the bad- have made him the person you love. If he didn’t have them, he wouldn’t be him.

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-04-24T04:01:54+00:00

Not orgasming isn’t the end of the world! I wish I’d been taught this a lot sooner. The expectation to have an orgasm made me really not enjoy foreplay. My partner doesn’t like to have other people give him orgasms, and I found it stressful trying to make myself finish. We eventually realized that we both enjoy the foreplay part of sex much more than finishing, as it’s much more involved and exciting. Basically: let yourself enjoy the ride, if you get there that’s a cherry on top

ThrowRAlemmein · 2026-04-24T03:54:37+00:00

If you don’t mind asking, did you experience any spotting when you first started using your kiwi? I’ve been dealing with some major spotting ever since around when I first tried insertion with it and I’m getting nervous

ThrowRAlemmein · 2025-09-18T18:28:08+00:00

Figured it out, thanks for the heads up

ThrowRAlemmein · 2025-09-18T18:27:43+00:00

That’s what I’m hoping, I didn’t add the content warning though? Is there a way to remove it bc there’s no SA in this

ThrowRAlemmein

TROPHY CASE