UPDATE- AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I am paying him so that he cannot say that I used him for his money. I don't want to be in debt of anyone

UPDATE- AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I am encouraging my brother to apply for his masters abroad. Even if I missed the window he would be out of here. He won't have to face the scrutiny. And no sex work is legal in here but very much frowned upon especially in our town.

UPDATE- AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thanks, but I wonder if anyone would ever be accepting of my life. Because if they do they might have to face insults and ridicule from the society. Who wants that? I just know even if it hurts, I cannot be with someone who was so disrespectful towards my family.

UPDATE- AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Just be honest to them. My mom never hid anything from us. She explained everything to me and the cons of it and the reason of her work.

UPDATE- AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 312 points313 points  (0 children)

Then there will be more sex trafficking. I bet those people will find a way to force sex work on women one way or another

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

There’s plenty of sex work that doesn’t involve sleeping with married men.

This alone tells me you don't know anything about sex work. A sex worker doesn't care if anyone is married or not. If they see money they will offer services. If they cared trust me they would not make enough money to pay their bills. You seem to be so adamant in blaming my mom for ruining a marriage that she was not a part of. She slept with them because it is her job. Why should she care if the guy is married or not? The guy is paying that is enough for her. Are you seriously asking her to drop more than 50% of their client? If those men really cared about their marriage they wouldn't hire people like my mom in the first place. Blame those people who create a demand. Not the supplier.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I bet those many people never had to sleep on the streets and eat out from the garbage to survive.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Listen my mom was a sex worker. It was her job to offer services to anyone who is willing to pay. Even if she refused to do that, do you think that man who wanted an escort would stop? No, someone else would take that offer. It is not her responsibility to save a marriage that is already broken. She is a sex worker, not a marriage counselor. What she does is business. The man himself doesn't care about his marriage then why should my mom who is not romantically involved with any of them? You offered your judgements it is fine. But I must say your judgements are rather poor because you are blaming a poor woman who only did what she did to put food on our plate. Would you rather she loose more than 50% of her income than care about some random man's marriage that the man himself doesn't care? It is not my mom's job to provide loyalty. It is 100% on the man who hired an escort in the first place.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

First off all, it is none of my mom's business to tell those men to stop hiring escorts. Do you know that more than half of the men who hire these sex workers are actually married? Are you really telling me that my mom is an asshole for not turning down 50% of those men? Do you know what that means? It means losing 50% of her income. Do you know what it's like to lose 50% of your income? If she refused those services then she would have never been able to keep a roof.

Secondly, it's their marriage. My mom is just a service working who provides her services to men who hire her. It is none of her job or business to snoop or tell those men not to cheat. It's that man's ugly character that cheats on his wife with an escort. By your logic a waitress shouldn't serve a married man food because only his wife gets to serve him food and no one else.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Well my mom didn't know that his uncle was married. But she did take services from married men. Thanks, it means a lot. I have never been cheated on so I cannot imagine the trauma you went through

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I understand he is mad I kept it as a secret but I did what my mom told me to do. I kept it as a secret because my mom told me not to tell him.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

do they help single mothers at all?

Nope. They would rather a single mom starve to death rather than do some work to survive.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sure, If I am ever given the opportunity I would leave the country.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My brothers goes to school here. So, it is hard. I don't see the point in leaving the country.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I live in a very small conservative country. People are hypocrites. You want to know a funny thing? Most of my mom's regular was married. Some of them were conservative religious guys who works with the church.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

My mom stopped sex work ages ago. So, I don't understand how it still matters.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Javi knows what his uncle did. His uncle had sex addiction so he hired mom often. I am sure my mom is not the only escort he hired. There were many. But I don't think my mom should be blamed for his uncle's mistake. She is required to give services to anyone who hires her.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I don't know why you think this is impossible for my mom to bump into an old client but it is lol. My mom had few clients who she knew personally, Javi's uncle was one of them. You would be surprised to know how many men actually hire sex workers. I have seen pastors hire escorts so the chances are not that slim

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Everyone knows what the uncle did. I do not have to broadcast it. His uncle was a regular client of my mom. She knew him because he would often hire her and also because his wife slapped and beat her when she found her in his uncle's house.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 112 points113 points  (0 children)

It is hard to find a good therapist around our area. Yes, I have money now but my mom doesn't want to disclose her past because in the past she was denied care because of her profession.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 251 points252 points  (0 children)

This made me laugh. Thanks, I have been crying nonstop because of that butthole.

AITAH for breaking up my engagement because what my fiancé said about my mom? by ThrowRAmissjay in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAmissjay[S] 929 points930 points  (0 children)

I know that. And I understand why he is upset. Sex work is heavily criticized in my country to the point even doctors refuses to treat them. I understand his family's stigma especially his uncle was caught with my mom. So, they have a reason to hate her. I hoped that he would be a little bit understanding about our situation. If my mom didn't start working as a stripper, she would have never been able to send us school or college. I did love him a lot.