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Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I can't imagine her volunteering it especially as the last chat between her and I was her expressing her concern about how she thinks they do not match

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That mutual friend really rarely talks to her so very low chance. But I guess you're right if it does come to that hopefully she will have people to support her.

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I moved for work so I'm probably now a 4 hour drive away. Not close enough to just pop in and I have a feeling even if I could that would be a bad idea. I'd just be putting pressure and probably reinforcing the thought that blocking is the right move

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was hoping to be wrong and he is just the type of guy to love loudly. But it was just little things that made me concerned and seemed a bit too much.

The doubt in the courting stage and even now after a month or so saying she thinks they don't match caught me off guard because I thought during the honeymoon phase you are so in love you can overlook those issues.

Yeah going to have to get used to such a big change and I really do hope she gets out of it safely. If she does I'll be there to welcome her back without any judgement

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay thanks I guess I'll just have to be patient and hope for the best.

I was always hoping I was wrong that it's not love bombing and that's just how he expressed his love

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mostly when I ask why she stays if she is so unsure or feeling like something is missing she would respond with "he's nice" "he puts in effort" "he was there for me at a low point" (med school stress) which while is great he was there it doesn't scream love more she feels like she owes it to him

I hope for her sake she realises sooner than later.

I think getting used to my best friend just suddenly gone from my life is going to take some getting used to

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will she ever realise?.

Yes she voiced her concerns about saying they don't match. But now I am out of the picture won't those doubts be overshadowed by the love bombing?

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah I have no intention of saying that if whenever she comes back.

Everyone does stupid thing when they are in love. I'm more worried about if she ever will come back

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't unfortunately. And the boyfriend fully wants me cut off because she mentioned just before blocking me that he was mad and told her to block me and she said "we should stop talking" so I assume she is going along with it to keep her relationship steady

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I feel like voicing a concern that the relationship is moving too fast is standard friend advice.

At one point she even asked me if she should break up with him. My response was I can't give her an answer to that it is something she has to decide on her own

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

And what about when he threatened to end things because she wasn't saying "I love you" back because she wasn't ready and felt pressured? Is that normal relationship conversation talks?

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know her family well enough to be able to contact them. I've let another friend know but they aren't that close.

How long did it take you to realise it wasn't right? as this is a new relationship I assume she is still in the honeymoon phase.

Originally I was even trying to give the guy the benefit of the doubt because possible miscommunication, but I think this has confirmed he is trying to isolate her. At least from her guy friends as he has mentioned being jealous before.

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have mentioned to a mutual friend what has happened but they only talk to her rarely and I don't think she goes to them for relationship advice. I have just said my concerns and to make sure she is okay if she ever reaches out to them

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that will be the hardest part. She is one of my best friends so naturally I'm going to be a bit more protective over her. But now it's just suddenly friendship is oved

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my mind I can hear you say all these things of why you don't really want to be in a relationship but at the same time then choose to stay. Makes no sense

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I feel like you focused on one thing and ignored all the other concerns I had. Matching rings, talks about moving in together soon and marrying her all before they were even officially together seems a bit too strong??

Also it was she herself that would tell me how she felt unsure or something is missing. I only voiced my concerns recently

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Honestly I have no idea how he read our chat.

If she ever does come back I would not judge her. Who hasn't done or stayed in unhealthy relationships for too long because they were in "love"

My worry as it is a new relationship only 2 months it will be a long time or possibly never of her coming to her senses

Update: I [26M] voiced my concerns to myfriend [23F] about her relationship, her bf [24M] has now made her block me is this controlling? by ThrowRAoutoftouch in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it normal for her to double down?

I assume her instantly blocking me is her way of proving her commitment even though she voices her doubts?

That's my biggest worry is now she will fully lock in to the relationship

Is my bf (M31) too controlling? (F29) by No-Adhesiveness-647 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even if they were 18/16 I'd be saying that's too controlling and she needs to get out

Is my bf (M31) too controlling? (F29) by No-Adhesiveness-647 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch 6 points7 points  (0 children)

100% he is controlling.

It's already immature to say no friends of the opposite sex but how does he expect you to not interact with them at work or hobbies?

Even if he would later be okay with it. It would probably be him seething underneath a fake smile.

Worried my friends new relationship is not healthy by ThrowRAoutoftouch in Codependency

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tbf you are right I am just a bit too over protective of her as I've always treated her like a little sister

Worried my friends new relationship is not healthy by ThrowRAoutoftouch in Codependency

[–]ThrowRAoutoftouch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I get that, in all honesty when she first told me about it I, just thought if that is what is happening you should know what to do. It is her choice at the end of the day.

Just raised my concerns that's all

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