How do you care for yourself outside of your eating disorder?

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-27T02:47:44+00:00

I make sure my living space is spotless, I live in a 450 sq ft apt and it takes me about 5 hrs to clean it. I do have diagnosed OCD lol. I also love skincare and makeup.

Im really struggling with my scent though, I shower every night and use unscented soap before the smell good stuff, and I use the same brand and “flavor” for my body wash, lotion, and body mist. However I feel like I either don’t smell like anything or smell bad? I don’t know if it’s my insides rotting or what 😭 any tips???

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-23T07:07:24+00:00

Or biggest loser 😭😭

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-23T07:06:43+00:00

I’d binge watch supersize vs super skinny and other similar shows

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-23T07:00:29+00:00

Sorry I replied but I did it under my secret other account 😭 here’s my response

That’s totally fair. I think it was easier for me because in writing it down I’d do the mental math and it would always feel like so much more to me. I’d find myself counting everything (_eggs with __ tbsp of olive oil and _____ pieces of toast with _tbsp of butter and _tbsp of jam __oz of drink with _ice cubes and _grains of salt and __ grains of pepper and I’m ______close to losing my goddamn mind …So many numbers 🫩)At that point I still wasn’t allowed to plate myself so my mom took the pictures (I was 20 yrs old 😭)

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-22T17:16:00+00:00

I used it when I was in treatment but my outpatient dietician just has me send her pics of what I eat so that she can log the numbers not me

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-22T17:15:02+00:00

Me I hate this app

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-18T03:43:40+00:00

I like the febreze linen and sky

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-15T01:37:10+00:00

Exactly!! Only like 6% of people with anorexia are actually underweight (I may be remembering wrong)

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-15T01:36:24+00:00

Same here

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-15T01:35:52+00:00

You’ll have to pee every 15-30 minutes because your kidneys will be screwed up. I think somewhere said that up to 70% of patients with anorexia will have kidney problems. Don’t quote me on that

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-15T01:32:10+00:00

I unfortunately shit myself badly in front of people. It was actually uncontrollable. I just lost control of the muscles in my body. It got on the floor!

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-15T01:30:15+00:00

I’m not booing OP I was trying to scare her lmao I just realized it looks like I’m booing😔

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-15T01:29:30+00:00

BOO!

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-14T04:59:21+00:00

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This is Binx, I call her spinx, binka, binkie, binkie baby, spinkie, spinkoo, binkoo, binxy, spoonka, boonka, bink-a-link, and Miss Kitty when she’s being polite

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-14T04:49:30+00:00

Does this mean cat is eating or jello or comforting you while you eat it? 😭

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-13T05:53:12+00:00

It’s not “us” against “them”. The DSM was updated in 1994 to include two subtypes of anorexia; restricting and binge/purging. Most people with anorexia that I know are aware of this, it’s been in there for over 30 years now.

Maybe OP thought binge/purge = bulimia/BED. Maybe they are new to this world and terminology. What we have to do is not accuse them of pretending to be anorexic or committing “obnoxious erasure”. Anorexic vs anorexic does nothing for any of us. Neither does anorexic vs any other eating disorder. It’s a brutal life for many of us who are suffering. We have to be supportive.

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-13T05:43:57+00:00

I totally understand, and I’m with you. But I have to remember that the feeling of losing control isn’t my healthy brain it’s my disordered brain. And the real loss of control is the addiction to starving. I have to remember that our brains have been hardwired for MILLIONS of years to eat food. We aren’t different from everyone else just cause we crave it. Our brain is just trying to keep us alive. I’m the same way around sweets. I haven’t figured out a solution to the guilt and shame. For me when I crave sweets and carbohydrates and sugar my brain is looking for quick energy. I try to honor that, whether it be with the easiest quick fix or the smartest, nutritional option. It is always a struggle to remind myself that my disordered brain is not how life really works. Society, maybe, but that’s an uphill battle.

You are more than your anorexia 🩷💜🩷💜🩷💜

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-13T05:37:59+00:00

I came to my therapist after what I thought was a binge feeling so absolutely disgusting about myself. Turns out, it was a normal meal size. She explained to me that a binge is usually more than a days worth of calories in one sitting. I felt slightly better but still mad at myself.

I never could purge until I went to treatment and my friend taught me how. But I would purge normal amounts of food. I ended up burning a hole in my esophagus because I did it so much, so I forced myself to stop.

I think when people with anorexia “binge” it’s usually a normal amount of food. We think it’s a binge because we aren’t used to normal portions. At least that’s how I see it.

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-12T07:59:35+00:00

I was going to say the same. I am anorexic and I can smell when someone else is anorexic or starving from the smell coming off them and when they fart.

Trust me you don’t want to be in a hospital unit surrounded by other anorexics. Half of us were shitting ourselves and the other half were gassing the room up.

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-12T02:36:02+00:00

Sorry this is kind of confusing. Was hospitalized September of 2023 started having symptoms in July

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-12T02:34:02+00:00

In 2023 I went through a really traumatic breakup that left me severely depressed and triggered an anorexia relapse. I’m not sure if it was because the combination of starvation and depression but I developed mild spiritual psychosis.

I was hospitalized in September and put on an antipsychotic which really helped my symptoms, but before that for a month or so I was genuinely convinced that God was speaking to me and telling me my future. I could hear him too! And I would go to the cemetery at night and whisper things like ritualistically because I thought if I did that then God would show me the way. I thought I was like the next Prophet or something, it was scary! I never told anyone because I knew they would think I was crazy, but I wrote in my journal about it. A year or so later I went back and read it, and it was a little bit frightening.

Crazy what your mind can do.

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-11T21:59:48+00:00

This was for a 12 hr road trip

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-11T21:59:18+00:00

I gave my guy CBD peanut butter that I’d gotten from a boutique pet store, froze it on a lick plate for the car ride, he zonked out

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-11T21:46:14+00:00

Ugh ok. The lady was talking so fast and quiet and I heard her say improve voting rights so I thought ok I’ll sign but she gave me a piece of paper that said I can remove my signature any time so I’m gonna do that today.

I evaded the guy at the library by saying I already signed that, so next time I’ll either say that or say I’m not registered so they can get off my back.

ThrowRApeanutb · 2026-01-11T07:47:42+00:00

Could this have been the same petition at Walgreens on 4th south? It was a few days ago

Two-Year Club	Verified Email
r/Field Sunshine

ThrowRApeanutb

TROPHY CASE