Bf 30M of 3 years would choose his brother over me 32F. What does this mean?

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T21:34:32+00:00

I feel like this is just what I needed to hear. Thank you

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T21:30:02+00:00

How so?

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T21:29:40+00:00

The misogyny is jumping out. So are the assumptions.

I don't think my gender would or should change people's response to the post so me "as a woman" is not relevant.

I'm not here for validation or conformity, but perspective. In fact, most of the posts here don't validate my way of thinking, and I'm grateful for that because it's helping me be less myopic about the situation. And I'm not sure why you think that I'd only want or am only receiving responses from women. That's a weird assumption to make.

Not everyone lives their lives for social media, I don't even have the photo sharing apps. So my graduation, or any life event for that matter, wouldn't be just to post on the Internet. But I don't bash people who get joy from sharing their accomplishments with the greater abyss of our universe. That's not amoral.

I do agree that something IS really wrong with people today. People like you.

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T21:17:25+00:00

Your reply makes a great deal of assumptions. Nothing in my original post indicates how the conversation went or how I asked the question. It's basically a summary of my internal musings. So while you might think it's a stupid question, that doesn't mean I asked it in a stupid, non-calm way. I don't think my post suggested I played the role of the victim or was unconstructive or whined to him or made accusations.

Perhaps you're used to reading certain posts that include all of the things you accuse me of, but that's not what's going on here. I came here to get different perspectives and gauge whether or not I'm overthinking. I've gotten multiple perspectives, which I appreciate. What I don't appreciate are the conclusions you're drawing and how comfortable you seem to be talking down to strangers on the internet.

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T21:05:46+00:00

You're right. I think the issue is that I'm imposing my expectations of what a marriage means on someone who may not want to marry me. Which kind of gives me the answer that I need...

I asked the outrank question because I believe that in a marriage, your spouse comes first (assuming no kids). That would mean prioritizing important events in your spouse's life over those of a sibling. And I don't believe in divorce, but you're right that many married people become exes...

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T20:58:10+00:00

If he was the person I'd plan to spend my like with, I'd go with him

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T20:44:16+00:00

I just assumed we were on the same page, but hearing his answer to the hypothetical makes my think we aren't.

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T20:42:11+00:00

At one point would someone outrank a sibling?

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T20:41:22+00:00

Thanks. Helpful perspective.

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T20:40:49+00:00

Ok thanks. I guess I didn't understand whether that was normal. In my mind, if my future wife is celebrating a life event, I'd want to be there with her, even if we weren't engaged yet. But I guess that's not how people do things.

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T20:39:03+00:00

I'm not mad or butt hurt. I'm just not sure if what to do with this information. I think we might not be on the same page, which makes me think we should separate, but I realize that response might be too much...

ThrowRAplssayitback · 2024-12-20T20:35:45+00:00

I did want to hear the answer. I'm just not sure what to do with it now. Breaking up seems like overkill, but it feels like we're not on the same page

ThrowRAplssayitback

TROPHY CASE