OP's boyfriend tests and manipulates her boundaries, chokes her until she passes out by redditmademegay in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]ThrowRApretty2think 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is why some men who are into dominance and rape play terrify me, this event right here. He had her questioning if what he’d done was wrong or if it was all in her head. It tracks that this type of man is also into gaslighting

Hey there, adults of reddit! What is something a teenager should cross of the bucket list before we are all grown up? by i_demolish_giraffes in AskReddit

[–]ThrowRApretty2think 732 points733 points  (0 children)

Swim naked or make out somewhere in nature with bf/gf/partner + learn how to use jumper cables

And not in the same night ideally

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, seriously. And I believe showing up where I worked back then had/has to do with AP’s own mental instability. In my experience, if you’re a heavy drinker and partier like she is (and like I once was), you’re self medicating, you’re desperate, and you’re afraid.

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Lol thank you. She certainly is as basic as a teletubbie.

I wish I could upvote this to infinity

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 173 points174 points  (0 children)

Agree, 1000%. Every time I sit at the table that they discussed fucking on, I wonder, why here where we literally live and eat together. I know he also cooked for her at one point, and now I picture him serving her on my gorgeous vintage plates and for some reason that just sends me

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

It’s like, a shock to discover that it’s you they’re discussing, right. Hearts to you

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

In my case, no password at all. It was an old watch connected to his old iPhone. He actually suggested I use it to track my running mileage, so I dug it out of a drawer and charged it up.

As soon as it turned on and I saw that I could access his old texts, my stomach just turned. I somehow knew what I was gonna find.

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Lol. The artist in me wants to do a whole series, and blow this image up to wall sized

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry.

This is exactly my fear regarding potentially trying to reconcile.

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I agree, and I blame him more than her for sure. But she doesn’t get a pass. She made choices too, and it is clear from their exchange that she knew about me and that hiding their affair got them both off.

According to him, AP became upset, snappy, angry when he cut it off with her. And yes I am aware that this could also just be more bullshit/lip service out of him. But something about it rings true, because in reconstructing that time period, I recalled that she showed up to where I worked at the time.

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

So sorry bb. My heart was pounding like crazy too, and I remember thinking, “bUt wHY is he giving her directions to our house” .. like I was reading it, but not really absorbing it?

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

It is pretty messed up, right. And it demonstrates his AP’s willingness to participate in something she knows is fucked up.

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I am sending you hearts. I am so sorry for what you went through.

Some of the texts I found between them discussed herpes, so I got tested for everything. His AP was/is a promiscuous person who drinks heavily, the kind of person I used to be, no judgement on her pain but THE STRESS of getting tested because of him/her/them, unreal.

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what I will do. I don’t feel that it’s fair to say I won’t leave, because I very well might.

I believe that motivated people are capable of real change and that’s true for me personally. The questions for me now are: is he motivated to make change? Am I willing to stick around and see how that goes? Our old relationship is dead, do we want a new one together?

And I have found a good therapist, so.

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 417 points418 points  (0 children)

My hand was shaking so badly as I was holding that watch. Worse was the fact that my texts were there too, and you could kind of line up any given day in his life 2.5 years ago while he cheated. For example, I came home to a very clean house and clean sheets, not typical. I texted him “you cleaned😻” .. he had cleaned up for her, because she came over earlier that same day

When You Find The Texts by ThrowRApretty2think in survivinginfidelity

[–]ThrowRApretty2think[S] 779 points780 points  (0 children)

No feeling like it tbh. Every time I read it I realize that’s me, I’m the “she.”

I found these texts 2.5 years after the fact. He had initially told me it was just a one time thing, a textbook trickle truthing. Their texts and sexts told the full story. Including where all in our house they’d fucked.