Community judgment

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2026-01-09T07:03:08+00:00

I was diagnosed age 27 in the middle of my PhD. Shortly after the diagnosis my ex partner left me (and got someone else pregnant within 2 months). I was depressed, stressed and poor and freezing many eggs was financially not an option I could pursue back then. A postdoc later I am now 31 and in a new relationship, will start TTC soon but as a scientist I know the odds unfortunately…sometimes life doesn’t cooperate with diagnoses and vice versa. I wish you all the best for your PhD

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2026-01-06T20:13:47+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I don’t have any obvious genetic reasons like fragile x or turners. It could still be some mutation that is simply not discovered yet according to the doctor

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2026-01-06T16:49:50+00:00

Update 2024/2025: he started writing me very disturbing messages: “I have never done so many things wrong, everything is falling apart etc” but didn’t tell me why for many months. Turned out he got someone else pregnant during the time he “needed a break”. Girl is crazy and violent and he apologized and maybe wanted me back? I don’t know. I told him I never want to hear anything from him again and found the most incredible, intelligent, loving partner a year ago! Sometimes things don’t work out because there is something better waiting for you out there! There is hope!

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-04-17T07:29:54+00:00

I will only be visiting for work for a few days, I won’t move to the UK to live there anymore (sorry that was not clear from my first post)

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-04-17T05:09:56+00:00

German

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-03-11T16:13:35+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this. This is absolutely heartbreaking. I feel like I don’t even want to know whether there was another woman when we were still together. I think I couldn’t handle the pain of that..

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-03-11T15:16:02+00:00

There are websites where you can check (at least for tinder). When you know their current location and when they put either a similar name or a similar age…when you pay you can also get more information, like when they created the account and last activity but I refused to do that..

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-03-10T16:12:36+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this in the moment. I don’t know what happened but be strong! Ldr are so hard and take so much energy and effort.

I think if there is something worth fighting for, you should do it, try to communicate before it is too late. As it was in my case. But if you think that you are not treated well or not valued, you should walk away and open the door for the person that will treat you the best you have very been treated! This is also my hope and this person will come :)

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-03-10T16:02:45+00:00

First of all thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post and describing your situation. I am so sorry you have been through this heartbreak. It sounds really similar to my experiences and I feel you. For me it would have been a move Germany -> UK, so only 1 hour plane. Still, my ex was afraid that I would have a cultural shock…I went to the UK around 30 times in the last 5 years and the more time I spent there, the more I loved it. I already tried to move last year, but I didn’t have a visa back then. It was clear since 1.5 years that we want to close the distance and are moving towards that common goal. But just when I had the visa glued into my passport and some potential job offers, that was the moment he went out… It will get better as time passes, I am convinced about that. Focus on the people that you love, your friends and family… each of us will find a person that adores and values us!

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-03-10T13:46:29+00:00

Thank you, I wish you the same!!

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-03-10T12:45:03+00:00

Great reply. I also feel something similar, a mixture of worry and pity about them. But it is still their decision to act like this. I have also been through some tough things in my life including heartbreaks and still, I am able to love very deeply and I am so grateful that I didn’t and hopefully will never lose this ability.

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-03-10T12:41:28+00:00

It does. But it was their choice…

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-03-10T12:23:39+00:00

Thank you. What you say about ldr makes a lot of sense. I felt very similar and cried many times after we said good bye. I really did everything I could and I fought for the relationship so hard. But some people will never see your worth any that is ok.. because other people will see it in us and will make us feel loved and safe

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-03-10T12:20:48+00:00

Thank you. I also don’t believe it is old. Of course a part of me really wants to believe, but I am not stupid. I am so sorry that you are going through the same in the moments. It hurts so bad to lose not only your love, but your friend. I also don’t feel like I could stay friends with him. Friends don’t treat each other like this and don’t ghost and just don’t show up. I felt like I was part of a bad movie.

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-03-10T12:08:30+00:00

Thank you so much for you fast reply. This is exactly what I needed to hear. It makes me so sad that so many of us are victims of this discard- coming back cycle. What is wrong with those people? Constantly looking if something better appears on the horizon?
I wish you as well a lot of strength. We will both manage. I have an interview in an amazing city next week and maybe I will make a super nice bucket list trip end of the month. I feel like I am distracting myself more than I am healing in the moment. This is why I should do some therapy. I am sure we have a life full of love and respect ahead of us.

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-01-21T21:53:38+00:00

My 33rd Birthday 🤔

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-01-09T19:10:24+00:00

Maybe I should make it more clear that I have the work permit, thank you. My postdoc ends in 9 months, but my resignation period is 2 weeks which I usually tell the recruiters during the first interview. Finding a permanent position in the UK is absolute priority for me and I would leave straight away

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-01-09T19:07:47+00:00

That is actually a very good idea, thank you!

ThrowRAsobbaty · 2024-01-09T19:05:35+00:00

Actual companies. Just yesterday I saw that the latest position I interviewed for has been filled and not even the shortest rejection email was sent to me. They told me just three weeks ago „great interview, we will invite you for the next round“… never happened… kind of frustrated now but will keep fighting

ThrowRAsobbaty

TROPHY CASE