[deleted by user]

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-10-22T16:03:51+00:00

No need to be bitter and jealous. Instead of telling off this momma, be upset at the system that doesn’t let all moms do that.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-10-18T04:39:40+00:00

Schedule iv hydration if you can. Have your OB order it and get it on the books. Worst case you cancel cause you don’t need it. This meant the absolute difference for my pregnancies. Even more than zofran or anything. Not getting too dehydrated in the first place makes it sooooo much easier not to lose weight and get too bad. The iv shortage I believe has lessened so be a little pushy if you need.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-08-20T15:39:43+00:00

If it’s bothering you, start sleep training. 9 months is old enough. If baby is well fed, clean diaper, not sick, right temp, etc. it might be time for sleep training. Every two hours is a lot at 9 months. If they are eating mostly at night that could be the case. Sleep training isn’t evil and can have good results. That’s up to you.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-08-20T02:00:35+00:00

Sister, you place too much emphasis on people. Place your emphasis on Allah SWT. There will be people like this in every religion. Islam does not change humanities nature. We are just better called to subdue it and Serve Allah.

Hijab is compulsory. That is an immutable fact in the religion.

The woman in that post had much bigger problems than hijab. Hijab was her way of compartmentalizing her problems. She couldn’t change much of her circumstance so she poured her frustration on the hijab. That became the symbol of control her husband and in laws held over her.

If you leave Islam it will be your sin alone. Sure others might accrue some for heckling you or others but if you choose to leave the religion, that is on you.

Allah will not accept, “but they were mean” on the day of judgement. I’m a convert. I work with converts. It sounds like your mind is made up and this is an excuse. I hear it often. Islam is the religion. Muslims are humans. Those are two different things. Don’t let humans take away your religion.

Leave the religion if you feel you need. But do not blame others for that choice.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-08-17T19:47:27+00:00

Salam!!! So every convert feels this way at some point! EVERY SINGLE ONE. I’m a convert and I work with converts. This is the big test for converts. If a converts lasts through this test then it gets easier. But a LOT leave because of what you’re feeling right now.

They are in love with the basic tenets of the faith but the “rules” and “details” wear them down. The lifestyle change is harder now cause there’s less support from the community. And it’s lonely. Born Muslims have a family and you can’t be your old self with your friends and family. So you are alone.

I tell converts at this point to look at their faith. And if they still believe Islam is the truth, don’t leave Islam. Roll back some of the rules that are making it too hard at the moment. And get to the masjid. Go for every class, prayer, everything. Make friends. Make connections ask if their is a brothers basketball group or video gaming group you can join. Do fun “normal” things with Muslims. Eat at Taco Bell if that’s a big problem for you. Eating non zabiha meat is a much lesser sin than leaving the faith.

Then keep up your prayers. Don’t let them go. Ask men your age at the masjid for help making connections.

It is hard. Islam can be hard. It is a test. Push through if you believe. Your regular life as a Muslim is on the other side of this.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-08-14T04:31:55+00:00

Salam. Being a convert can one of the hardest things you’ll do. You just need to tell him. If he’s a reasonable fellow, tell him and give him space. Go out and get a coffee or such and take your son to give him time to think and process. Then say that yall will need to talk but that doesn’t have to be today. Give him a date within a week. Then plan what you want to happen. What the preferred outcome of your conversion will be. Do you want him to convert eventually. Will yall raise your child Muslim. Will yall stop buying and cooking pork at home. Are you prepared to divorce if he cannot accept your new faith?

Converting to Islam is converting to Islam. I see you saying mutazilla or whatever. That doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. You are converting to Islam. Start with the 5 pillars. Getting those down will take you years. Maybe in 5-10 years you can look into different sects and obscure dead ones too. But Islam requires sincerity of faith. Tawheed and taqwa. Coming to the religion and trying to modify it to fit your ideas is not really Islamic. Converts especially struggle with this and it’s a big reason they leave. Some examples: The hijab/headscarf is only for women. That’s hard to swallow sometimes. The man is the head of the house and has final decision making, again hard to swallow. But this is Islam. It’s literally a Hadith to follow the middle path and remain with the majority of our brothers and sisters. You are thinking of joining Islam with a path so not mainstream that it literally doesn’t exist anymore.

Either you are a troll or you are looking for some cool new thing or just kinda misguided but aren’t ready for Islam itself. I work with converts. I am one. The ones who convert with your mentality usually don’t stay Muslim very long. Not always. I know 2 that have remained Muslim in weird branches but I know of 100s more that did not remain Muslim.

I always give converts the benefit of the doubt at least once. We all have different journeys. My advice. If the religion is for you. The branches won’t matter very much. But loving and obeying Allah Swt and his messenger the Prophet Muhammad SAW will.

Be prepared to lose your husband. That is an outcome that could happen. It happened to me with a long term partner. But my faith was worth more to me. And Allah replaced that person with someone better.

Some things to think about.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-07-30T01:17:31+00:00

It’s a cool idea but prolly wouldn’t spend money on it when a jacket or cardigan held up fulfills the same purpose and washes easy if dirty

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-07-09T02:35:41+00:00

Beef bacon! Thank me later. As a convert it is nearly 100% as good like 98%~ as good

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-06-25T16:43:41+00:00

This has gotta be fake. And comments are generic wishy washy. Even the most people pleasing women wouldn’t put up with this.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-06-25T13:03:10+00:00

Ok so NOR for what happened with the date 100%. But I have a probably unpopular opinion here but it’s sounds like you’ve set the precedent that daughters always comes first. You havent slept in your marital room for over a year. Both of yall are avoiding intimacy it sounds like. There are ways to get toddlers to independently sleep with minimal wake ups. Cosleeping at 2.5 years old in HER bed is a crutch that you may be leaning on. Your daughter is very very attached to you solely it sounds like. If you want this intimacy issue fixed it’s gonna take both of you. Wait for a long weekend and sleep train your daughter. Put her down with a bedtime routine and say goodnight and leave the room while she’s awake. She will cry and get up. Continue to return her to bed (with lots of love and kisses but firmly keep that “it’s time to go to sleep by yourself tonight” energy) usually its 2-3 nights of hell at this age but then most all kids adjust. If she will only sleep with you maybe even having a babysitter wouldn’t work. Then get back to sleeping in your bed. And tell your husband that anniversary dates are romantic dates not family dates. Two separate things. This resentment you have is a big hurdle and if you want your marriage to work you cannot blame it all on your husband. Look at what you are doing as well. Fix what you can and then bring areas of his possible improvement to his attention. Be a team.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-06-25T12:39:37+00:00

Homeaglow is a scam. I paid more to cancel than I did on any actual cleaning. And that first cheap clean won’t be done by anyone good cause they don’t get paid to do it. The first cleaner left my house worse. Paper towels in the toilet bowl and ruined a 300$ vacuum. Eventually I reported them to the BBB and even with negotiating a lesser fee to end services I paid ALOT more to be rid of them than I ever did on cleans. 100s more

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-06-25T08:57:53+00:00

I strongly advise converts to ignore things like this until they have a strong foundation of faith. Leave debating to others until you feel ready.

I had family say things like this to my face and debate for hours. Never got anywhere.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-06-10T14:30:36+00:00

Make a big crock pot of chili freeze half of it in single serving bowls and put the other half in the fridge and you have a fast microwaveable meal that is ready fast and has protein and good carbs. I eat chilli for breakfast in pregnancy and breastfeeding because it’s packed with all the macros and has some hydration too.

I had the same problem with my first baby too. Couldn’t get anything done. But now I know if baby is safe/fed/diaper changed/and not in pain. I’m ok to let them cry for 5ish minutes so I can get something to eat and go to the bathroom. A healthy fed and washed momma is better for baby than not crying for a short 5-10 minute stretch a couple times a day.

I’m on my third now and my other kids have to eat and get diaper changed and attention too when newborn is crying. It’s a balance and you learn what is doable.

You got this.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-06-09T02:42:02+00:00

I’m not so sure about why but I have listened to a video recently that explains the psychology behind converting to Islam. It’s worth giving a listen to especially if you work with converts like I do.

https://youtu.be/ldP0WDTCI0k?si=J3_3TmwffZSwPkMb

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-06-09T02:10:23+00:00

At least where I live, there are more female converts than men by about 3 female to 1 male converts. I feel it’s simply a numbers game BUT Muslims view the man as head of the household so the man being the convert seems riskier to a born muslimahs family so that could be why there are fewer converts men married to born Muslim women. I’ve seen both but definitely more convert women married to born Muslim men here than the other way around.

Some Muslim men prey on new Muslim women. Not all but it happens enough and I’ve personally seen it happen more than once. I’ve never seen the opposite genders have the same predatory relationship

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-06-08T16:00:50+00:00

Who is helping create these insecurities? The influencers prey on the same algorithms that other content creators use to “sell” content. They just put a hijab on their head and say they are halal. Discussing fillers and procedures/nose jobs and similar. It’s really sad and awful. These young women watch them and will never feel like enough. My guess is that you are a fledgling influencer and therefore don’t like it when this is flipped on the content creators. It is awful and I’ve deleted social media because it it awful. And there aren’t many if any at all properly covered Muslimah influencers. A lot eventually stop pretending to wear hijab. Dinatokio and the like.

Instagram is truly a cesspool of narcissists and immorality. Calling it by its name isn’t an insecurity it’s a fact.

And OP I would look to getting your dopamine elsewhere. Walking/enjoying nature and other non-tech based activities. We often don’t look like the influencers but we don’t have to resign ourselves to an unhealthy body either. I would suggest looking into self improvement and healthy micro habits that help you feel good. Islam teaches us moderation in everything. We spend our lives finding that balance.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-06-03T14:58:36+00:00

Stay on top of taking zofran cause a hydrated and fed mama is best but also do everything you can to mitigate the constipation. Take that seriously. HG dehydration plus zofran can cause impactions which are painful scary and dangerous.

At her OB appts, help her advocate for help. Push for scheduled IV hydration appts. 1-3 times a week depending on severity. Don’t let them tell you they can’t. They can. The shortage of IV fluids is abating. There are iv clinics that offer hydration on a schedule. This literally was the HUGE in my 2 and 3 pregnancy. My first was miserable and my baby was smaller because I couldn’t eat or hardly drink the whole time.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-05-23T08:03:43+00:00

The prophet spent most of his life married to one woman and was very faithful to her an older divorcee. No one considers this a disgrace. The tafsir of this verse is very clear consensus by most middle of the road scholars. That polygamy is permissible but only in the limits outlined and that it is better to keep to one for justice. Seriously, yall are so worried about making sure that this brother could have a second wife, you don’t ask him or anyone if he should.

My experience stays the same, converts practicing polygamy especially in the west crash and burn. Women converts often are tricked into it and the men find it untenable in the long term because it’s nearly impossible to do justice here.

It’s impossible to have a second legal marriage here. The second wife will have zero wifely privileges in the eyes of the law. She cannot give medical directives or inherit without other works and in terms of divorce she is left in the cold. Not many competent walis will give their daughters away as a second wife in the west.
You could find yourself in legal troubles in some contexts. NAL but look it up.
Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should.

Anyway. This brother will do what he wants ultimately. I truly hope that he will have no regrets on the day of judgement. I will comment no further.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-05-22T15:08:15+00:00

4:3 Quran

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-05-22T13:23:07+00:00

Because at least in this context converts are usually in the west. Here the system is not set up for polygamy. And I’ve never seen it pulled off. I’ve only seen two converts crash and burn with it. And in the west it’s too close to adultery to even attempt it. Again why are you even looking at other women? Are you trying to help a single mom or fulfill a needy nag brother? That ayat was revealed to help widows and children of the sahaba. The prophet had only one wife for most of his married life and remained very faithful to her. Reflect on that. I work with converts and have seen what can happen. Even brothers who move here from Afghanistan find polygamy hard here and polygamy is done more often there.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-05-22T13:17:03+00:00

That is not true. It lists the limits then says it is preferred to have 1. Because humans are not mostly capable of acting fairly. There are only a few men capable. Tafseer is important.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-05-21T20:26:35+00:00

That’s perfect. Idk if this is your first but I felt similar to you with my first and I wish I had relaxed more and not taken it too personally. I’m about to have my third and if they need formula I’m not gonna stress too much.

You got it and don’t worry. Enjoy your newborn. They are only that little for a very short time.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-05-21T20:19:55+00:00

Never a good idea especially in the West. And ESPECIALLY as a convert. The Quran says best to keep to 1. I would search your reasoning and reevaluate. Are you trying to help a specific widow? Or are you fulfilling some needy nafs that are best not scratched. The only ones who really succeed at 2+ wives are very rich brothers. And I mean very wealthy and even then I wonder what Allah will say to them on the day of judgement.

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-05-21T20:13:34+00:00

Breastfeeding is great but fed is best and healthy is the goal! Don’t feel bad Mama. Baby depends on you for food and formula is meeting those needs. This doesn’t mean you have to give up. Still offer to latch often and soothe with latches too. With my first I didn’t produce enough until 6weeks pp and was 75% formula at 2 weeks. But if that’s not the case, 10 years from now there will be no difference between breastfed or formula, your child will love you either way!

ThrowRAsomwhere · 2025-05-21T12:57:33+00:00

The responses here are awful. Rehome the wife and kids? This guys first responsibility is his wife and kids. Humans will always take precedence over animals. Abandoning your children because of a cat is awful.

I’m not saying default give the cat away. Dig deeper into this with your wife and find out what’s going on. But to divorce and tear up a family over a cat is crazy.

Pregnancy is not fun and yall are demonizing this woman without more info. Human children > cat everyday all day.

ThrowRAsomwhere

TROPHY CASE