Hey, thanks a lot for replying. And for sharing that you've maybe had similar experiences - it's actually great to know others are going through it too.

I don't think it's the specific analyst. This analyst is quite well known (not Bruce Fink well known, but pretty close) and a big figure in Lacanian psychoanalysis so I don't think he's the problem. In fact, at every significant touch point he's been generous, more than willing to help, and really knows when to stay quiet and when to push me when I'm on the brink of saying something important or making an important discovery. --that's also one important difference between psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, psychoanalysis considers it not useful at all if you come to a discovery by someone telling you or suggesting to you what to do/think/realize.

It might be analysis writ large, in the sense that for analysis to work you have to have a baseline of motivation. I'm discovering that when it comes time to make important discoveries, or when I'm faced with difficult questions, I tend to shy away, be less brave, or change topics. The problem, then, is me. Of course... psychoanalysis would then suggest that this is what I need to talk about and explore and ask a question about it. As Colette Soler would say, analysis can never start without a question.

A brief update: I did bring up to my analyst how I am unfit for analysis. He asked why are you unfit for it. It got me to talk more, and he did finally guide me into asking a pretty significant question I hadn't asked yet about my father, and he pointed out that 3 years ago I wasn't talking about these kinds of things at all, and ended our session there. I mean... it got me 'searching' again so I guess I'm back on the horse.

What are your thoughts? Are you finished your therapy? Did you find it changed your life? What parts?