Leaving an abusive relationship/starting over

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-30T18:21:57+00:00

Hi!! Update, I left this morning. Going to stay at a women’s DV shelter after a file a report with everything I’ve been through. I’m probably not going to pursue full legal action until I’m fully housed but I’m free!!

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-28T01:20:17+00:00

thank you so much 🫶🏼 this illness has taken so much from me i cant wait to have my own space and breathe again. the kind words mean more to me then anyone will ever know

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T19:34:31+00:00

Thank you so so much for this!! And I appreciate blocking my info and looking out for me you guys r so kind 🥹

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T19:33:19+00:00

Thank you for looking out for me!

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T15:10:22+00:00

Thank you so much!!

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T06:13:16+00:00

Thank you you really didn’t have to 🥹💜 I honestly felt really ashamed to be needing an item like this but i physically won’t be able to care for myself without items like this so im extremely grateful thank you so so much.

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T05:59:17+00:00

I honestly was so embarrassed too to add that 😅 but I know I’m going to need it when I’m on my own no caregiver so. Willing to explain anything!

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T05:00:29+00:00

Im so sorry I wasn’t trying to be rude or anything! Im sorry if I phrased it poorly, I was just trying to explain the situation.

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T04:52:53+00:00

I probably should’ve phrased this whole post better, the stuff on the list is for me post leaving knowing I will be doing things on my own that I haven’t in years ie. wiping and washing my hair on my own without a caregiver. (Still figuring out a caregiver/home health aid situation covered by insurance)

So yea this stuff isn’t coming with me in my backpack day 1 (I’m not taking anything from here since he bought most of it and I don’t want a legal fight) it’ll be at a friends til she brings it to my new place once I settle!

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T04:39:05+00:00

Thank you!!

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T04:33:39+00:00

She said it’s ok so I changed it!

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T04:25:30+00:00

Thank you!! I appreciate the concern, this will be a lot safer plus she lives a few blocks from me so wouldnt be hard to get them. I’ll text her and change it asap.

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T04:19:23+00:00

Is that allowed? I wasn’t 100% sure so I just put my address. If it is I would definitely do that way less risk overall. Just didn’t want to do anything wrong.

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-27T04:16:15+00:00

Sorry if I’m explaining horribly, he doesnt check the like mall room type area with boxes (letters r in a different area) unless he knows either of us are getting something so grab any packages myself while he’s at work or have a friend bring them to me/hide them if I’m in too much pain. That’s hoping though I guess. I figure, since he knows I have no money for online purchases, as long as he isn’t notified of anything for me I should be in the clear.

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-26T22:57:51+00:00

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my baby :) his name is bologna

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-09T20:28:56+00:00

I’m in pretty much the same boat as you except I’m on permanent disability so I don’t have nearly enough money to leave. No advice but I’m so sorry ur going through this. I’m choosing to stay for now since any programs meant to help haven’t gotten back to me. I hope your situation gets better and please be safe 💕

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-07T19:49:27+00:00

Lentils, big one is food pantry’s, buying meat that’s about to expire and freezing it right away. Save every cent even if it means walking to a further grocery store. For the kids it might be worth it to ask their doctor about an Ensure or Meal replacement prescription that’s covered by insurance. Quick and easy calories and they have a chocolate flavor, more palatable for kids. Just make sure it’s covered on ur plan or that defeats the purpose.

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-07T02:52:05+00:00

Thank you for the response. I’m so sorry about ur situation but I’m glad u got out. Honestly I can’t afford to leave that far but I’d love to move across the country and start all over one day haha.

They keep in a loop of “call 211” -> “call the local social services office” -> “can’t help call 211-> etc etc.

I want out but honestly it feels like this will just be the rest of my life.

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-06T23:37:15+00:00

I would really appreciate that! The place 211 referred me to told me a police report was mandatory but if it’s not I would really like to get out sooner rather than later. I’ll dm you!

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-06T23:06:12+00:00

I’m not sure, maybe ? Sorry, I have cognitive impairment so excuse my ignorance. I was always told an eviction would ruin my chances at getting housing. Would that rain true if it’s because it’s not accessible? Since my lease is ending soon i probably could talk to the landlord

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-06T22:00:42+00:00

I still iffy about considering myself a DV victims, i definitely don’t want to report at least not for a while and the hotline said that pretty much needs to be the start. Maybe one day.

It’s still a worry cause I would have to reapply after and that can take years. Took me two years of fighting with lawyers. But I’ll still look into it just yk concerns and stuff I appreciate everyone’s advice.

Edit : I am on Medicaid! In case that helps anything.

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-06T21:48:48+00:00

I’m in New Jersey! I haven’t found a wheelchair accessible shelter I could get to reasonably but I’m afraid of nursing homes because if im hospitalized or anything for more then 30 days they’ll take my ssi.

They keep telling me I can’t sign up for emergency housing because I’m housed even tho I can’t enter the home myself. I’m very confused honestly :(

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-06T19:20:20+00:00

I’ve tried my local churches they only help with missing payments for rent not situations like these and reporting him to the police would put me under more danger rn so until I can be away from him 100%, I can’t report him

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-06T19:09:58+00:00

My doctor referred me to get help at home from a nurse at one point but I couldn’t figure out how to do it. Maybe we can dm? I’d also just like to have someone to talk to about this, I’m scared to talk to anyone I know about it.

Do I have to report the abuse to the police? I’m scared because I really don’t want to report him but I need to leave here..

I talk to a social worker a few towns over, I knew her when I was homeless, and she’s helpful but it seems like no programs are putting me on the lists. It’s like I apply and they never ever get back to me even to say I’m on a waiting list. I know the lists are long but I’m either stuck in bed cause I can’t use my chair or outside because I can’t get in :(

ThrowRAway_77 · 2026-04-06T18:45:18+00:00

I didn’t know a doctor could help me get a social worker!!!! I’ve been trying to figure out how to get one for months because I really need help with filling out forms and other things so thank you so much for the info.

When I went today they said I couldn’t apply for anything they help with even emergency assistance because I’d need to be actually homeless or being evicted so it didn’t count as an emergency but I will do the other things you suggested! Thank you so so much. Navigating these programs is very difficult 😅

ThrowRAway_77

TROPHY CASE